In Journal on February 28, 2015 at 11:20 PM
I have fallen in love to a wrong man but finally I don’t have to speak to him by obligation and yet I missed him despite the fact that I am just torturing myself. It is not easy to forget someone I have chosen to love but I have to be strong and be passionate about someone else – ME.
I am finding my real dreams and I am pursuing them obsessively for March, that’s starting tomorrow. I shall be quite chill, happy, and will sweat to be living my dream. I shall be doing things with diligence, gentleness, and professionalism. I shall speak my mind, I shall not hesitate… because I will never live with regrets.
I shall find to stay still and listen to my heart beat and I will not stop consulting teachers who are wise to guide my path. I shall honour the value of what is right and accept that people are different and make imperfect decisions every once in a while.
It’s okay to say good bye so I can say hello to a life with the tears for all the right reasons. So how do I forget him? Not to run but to accept. Not to be afraid but to be open that not all people are meant to hunt and hurt me. To look for other people who would inspire me. To be in a state of what makes me joyful like reading good books, listening to my favourite musics, and blogging.
In Journal on February 25, 2015 at 12:14 AM
Today is my last working day!!! I am joyful because I know that it is my gift for myself… to stop being a martyr and beating myself, pushing myself for the impossible. In my next adventure, I am sure I will do all the hard work all over again but this time it is pursuing my true passion, my amazing dreams, and living why I exist.
I am so happy. As the clock strikes Wednesday, I will relinquish my tie to do any more work and no more worrying for the company where I’ve dedicated 2 years and 3 months of my precious life. My colleagues was hoping until the very last day that it isn’t real that I leave; but I bid my good bye, I am decided.
I love you new beginnings. It is heartwarming that people who have worked with me loved the performance and appreciate me, the person. I did love the company like it is my own, I gave my best, and no regrets. I wish them well. I wish it more success! Last day from work and I am already receiving 3 job offers without even applying! Whoa!! I am grateful that people recognised my talent.
God, I love you. Thank you for holding my hands throughout my journey. I am now crying for all the right reasons, pure bliss. I will continue to honour you, with all my rich experience, I shall make you smile. I owe my gifts from you, with all of my heart, I thank you.
In Journal on February 21, 2015 at 9:30 AM
It is possible not to eat solid food for 7 days. My tummy growl every once in a while, I could feel my energy fading, and I would rather sleep than run but I function like a human being without solid food for the whole 7 days.
Whenever I feel quite weak, I utter a prayer, and I always try to remember my goal for doing the fasting, to be able to hear God and not the no nonsense petty talks inside my head that destruct me.
I didn’t deprive myself of drinking water and order pure fruit or vegetable juice. I was a bit scared that I would go overboard and could go on for more than 7 days.
The other plus points are the thoughts that I was able to detox and lost the unnecessary bad fats but fasting will never be a replacement for a proper weight loss regimen. And on the 8th day, I was’t pretty excited to chow down food, all I know is I have to be careful not to shock my stomach with solid food.
I hope the conscience, the little voice inside my heart, is truly God that I could hear clearly. I hope He is guiding my every decision and that I have done my best in all my actions even if I have won wrath from other people. I hope I am holding true to who I am and I wouldn’t compromise for others.