Yor Ryeter

[1: 1,880 of 10,000] Learning Heartache

In Journal on May 25, 2017 at 1:36 PM

I don’t know if I have properly love somebody but I could certainly agree that I have obsessed with various men hoping that they love me back. Do they call that unrequited love? Or am I so cray cray that they ran as far and fast that they could?

In my search for true love, I go back to the Bible’s definition of it, I still believe it is the most legit to consult for the purest meaning of anything in life, didn’t they even put HOLY to emphasize the divinity of it? 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is my go to definition.

What I learned though, at the very moment that I am in love (or obsessed) with someone, my mind constantly associate him in almost anything that I come across. It could be another movie star, a thing, and yet everything that reminds me of him totally vanished its power the moment I am over him.

I always thought I will never see Chris Pratt or Michael Fassbender the same way again because their lips remind me of somebody I thought I love; but now that I see these two movie stars, I couldn’t even remember his face clearly as I used to. I just laugh now whenever I remember the days that I was crying over him and getting jealous without even having the right position to do so. It’s messed up and I am relieved that I am over it.

To those who suffer with lost love, it’ll pass. You will heal and I say that without bitterness.

[1: 1,879 of 10,000] Learning Failure

In Journal on May 20, 2017 at 11:00 PM

I am avoiding making mistakes; then I forego the notion of daring the unknown. I am afraid that outside my comfort zone is equivalent to I am a failure. Yet the itch of not growing shouts so loud from my core.

I am avoiding disagreement with anyone; then I settle to being silent and not seeing the change of getting the present situation to improve for the better. I am afraid that I will not be heard and that my ideas are but a failure.

Will I stay afraid? I don’t want to not use my freedom to be great. I will entertain failure as my teacher. I will embrace mistakes so I may blossom.

Tonight I will sleep and when I see the sun rises tomorrow when I become awake, it is my sign that I have another chance to live life with courage.

[1: 1,878 of 10,000] Changes This June

In Journal on April 29, 2017 at 3:28 AM

june-2013-newsletter-OXPYJ6-clipart

June is going to be a very special time for me. I am turning 37 and I am moving to a new apartment.

I am dying to move to my own 4-bedroom house but the 25% cash upfront as down payment for a Million Dirham Dubai villa plus other fees are something I am not prepared. Am I really going to invest in real estate in Dubai?

I have been wary that I am so old but still an employee, still scare with where I am stirring my life, and that some younger people were more accomplished than myself. I am slowly coping that I must not compare myself to others because I have my own special journey.

I do worry if is this the right journey at all? Then I go back to…

  1. Am I being present?
  2. Am I enjoying my journey?
  3. Am I feeling fulfilled?
  4. Am I being helpful to others?
  5. Am I making someone feel special?
  6. Am I being challenged?
  7. Am I having dreams?
  8. Am I feeling afraid and courageous at the same time?
  9. Am I excited?
  10. Am I hopeful?

Yes.

🙂

Photo source: Clip Art Kid