Yor Ryeter

[1: 1,548 of 10,000] Highlighting My Insecurities With Love

In Article on August 4, 2015 at 11:13 AM

Shadow

XOXO, yep I got to start with that! In this post I would like to highlight my insecurities with full love.

There are moments that I just pause, curl, and pout that I’m not good enough. In happy moments, I am hugging and kissing my authenticity and appreciate how perfect am I just the way I am.

  1. I’m 5’2″ and I am short when I stand side by side with most Westeners. I was ridiculed and named “Shorty” and there are few moments that it gets to me when I could sense the mockery. I got to love my height, because of it, I also have pretty cute fingers that I adore. Being short pushed me to always be confident to stand straight. I have a pretty good excuse to wear pretty painful high heels, I am rooting for the upcoming painless high heels, someone is manufacturing it right now with the help of scientists. My height doesn’t stop and limit me to creating beautiful things that serve others.
  2. I got black wavy locks. I want golden brown and then I envied blondes who seemed to get men’s attention. I must love my hair for its blackness that when glowed by light exudes a brown colour, and the most important thing that it protects my head. I am happy that I got hair to play with, to tie, or to loosen.
  3. It feels degrading that my asian feature make other nationalities assumed I am a help. I was once mistaken as a toilet cleaner and I thought do I looked so lousy bad? I am also guilty going to shops and assumed some shoppers to be the sales associates and I know the feeling for being mistaken for someone you’re not especially if it’s lower than you hoped for. But now, I stopped! I have to be gracious if someone needs help and I love help simply because they help, how noble is their work really is. As for me, no more crazy assumptions, I would rather ask than wonder and make up my own story.
  4. I’m 35 and have not achieved financial freedom. I have an obsession of comparing myself with other famous people who were born in 1980 just like me. Whenever I see Channing Tatum and Gisele Bündchen, I followed my thoughts with a question and where am I still? As long as the sun shines, I am not yet done. It should be enough motivation that I have great things to do.
  5. I mirror people’s attitude and believed that I have the right to still be opinionated and judmental. I am very careful now that I don’t have to be hurtful and I better keep my mouth shut before I hurt anyone by projecting my own insecurities. Let it go! Let the judgment and mockery pass. I am more at peace if I think about the good things than highlighting what’s wrong.

[1: 1,547 of 10,000] That Warm Fuzzy Feeling

In Poem on August 3, 2015 at 7:00 PM

I love that warm fuzzy feeling but not everyday is a happy day.

In my worst moments of uncaring, I created drama.

Soon I was addicted with the hype.

I kept doing the jolt of intense feeling in different scenarios.

The high was just for awhile. Shortlived.

I was getting creative but all in the wrong tracks.

Then I got tired.

I was really guilty.

I melt down to self-pity.

And then to lost.

I have to seek God’s help. I need you God.

Only you can change me from inside out.

I couldn’t control my longing for attention and love.

I am so afraid of rejections. Abandonement.

I even forget to breathe sometimes.

I need kisses.

I need hugs.

I need comfort that I am not alone.

I need you God.

God Is With Me

[1: 1,546 of 10,000] Born Too Late

In Article on August 2, 2015 at 11:42 AM

I was browsing Pinterest today and I saw this comic strip about a woman who was contemplating that she was born in the wrong era –

Comic Inspired

It is true that the perception of people change, the world’s circumstance change. If I am expanding more than just the body image judgment, I am grateful that right now I am not in a country with bomb dropping from the sky that would make me curl up inside my home, scared, and covering my ears.

Our judgment on others is usually the reflection of our own fears. How can we find pleasure to mock someone for something they are that we couldn’t possibly understand their inner struggle? Why do we need to be cruel on others as to ourselves? I am guilty of throwing my own judgment but now I am more concerned about what am I judging on my own self for such a merciless attack.

As a lesson learned from Eckhart Tolle on Awakening, I should not fight back to people who judge and attack me. Not really because I am also guilty but I shall remain present that what has happened in the past is past and what’s important is right now. I am grateful that right now, I forgive myself and I show more compassion to others that they are not aware of their actions and they couldn’t control to give in to their egos who feed on negativity. If I remain peaceful, my presence could radiate a good energy that may possibly awaken them if not maybe in due time.

Live right now. May we have the courage to make a world of encouragement for the better, for the best; and not be a coward to give in to the ego.

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