XOXO, yep I got to start with that! In this post I would like to highlight my insecurities with full love.
There are moments that I just pause, curl, and pout that I’m not good enough. In happy moments, I am hugging and kissing my authenticity and appreciate how perfect am I just the way I am.
- I’m 5’2″ and I am short when I stand side by side with most Westeners. I was ridiculed and named “Shorty” and there are few moments that it gets to me when I could sense the mockery. I got to love my height, because of it, I also have pretty cute fingers that I adore. Being short pushed me to always be confident to stand straight. I have a pretty good excuse to wear pretty painful high heels, I am rooting for the upcoming painless high heels, someone is manufacturing it right now with the help of scientists. My height doesn’t stop and limit me to creating beautiful things that serve others.
- I got black wavy locks. I want golden brown and then I envied blondes who seemed to get men’s attention. I must love my hair for its blackness that when glowed by light exudes a brown colour, and the most important thing that it protects my head. I am happy that I got hair to play with, to tie, or to loosen.
- It feels degrading that my asian feature make other nationalities assumed I am a help. I was once mistaken as a toilet cleaner and I thought do I looked so lousy bad? I am also guilty going to shops and assumed some shoppers to be the sales associates and I know the feeling for being mistaken for someone you’re not especially if it’s lower than you hoped for. But now, I stopped! I have to be gracious if someone needs help and I love help simply because they help, how noble is their work really is. As for me, no more crazy assumptions, I would rather ask than wonder and make up my own story.
- I’m 35 and have not achieved financial freedom. I have an obsession of comparing myself with other famous people who were born in 1980 just like me. Whenever I see Channing Tatum and Gisele Bündchen, I followed my thoughts with a question and where am I still? As long as the sun shines, I am not yet done. It should be enough motivation that I have great things to do.
- I mirror people’s attitude and believed that I have the right to still be opinionated and judmental. I am very careful now that I don’t have to be hurtful and I better keep my mouth shut before I hurt anyone by projecting my own insecurities. Let it go! Let the judgment and mockery pass. I am more at peace if I think about the good things than highlighting what’s wrong.