Yor Ryeter

[1: 958 of 10,000] Feeling Rebellious

In Journal on March 14, 2013 at 12:00 AM

Scream, go ahead S-C-R-E-A-M!

I am feeling rebellious right now after realizing I feel undervalued, sad for someone is leaving, and disappointed that my plan is not going my way. For the first time in my life I don’t know how to control myself. I cannot direct my brain and focus to finish things. My mind is all over the place. My heart is simply broken into pieces.

I am sulking for two days and I am not giving my best performance, no matter how hard I try to ask myself to snap out of it I am really rebelling and boiling inside. If this continues I will rot inside and I will drain all the love that is left in my heart. I don’t feel well at all and I was investing too much at the wrong pot. I got to pull myself out because I think I am on denial but falling way too fast into love and I am still so jealous. I am hoping blogging about it will finally hit me in the head and expressing my jumbled feelings into words would wash the pain away.

This challenge is new. I don’t like it but I am dealing with it.

The only comfort that gives me joy is watering my plant in the morning. Seeing a miracle of a new life and I contribute as the steward without expecting anything from it in return except that it won’t die anyway – that gives me true joy.

  1. Hope you feel much better soon. Writing about it may have helped already to make you feel a bit better?

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