Yor Ryeter

[1: 1,352 of 10,000] I Am Paving My Dream

In Journal on October 11, 2014 at 9:33 AM

Many HatsI am hitting rock bottom to the extent of feeling depressed and wanting to die now. I am seeking the answer of why am I really here beside the fact that God loves me. I am losing the will to survive and have been comfortable to be a mediocre and not pursue what I was truly meant to do for the rest of my life, to live the gift I was bestowed with, my calling. I put on different masks, hats, or roles that it overwhelmed me to do the things that grind me to bits, delivering without the consequence of dying in some time. I have no enthusiasm and it is frustrating and making me defensive and grumpy.

I couldn’t complain but I could leave and live what will bring my heart in a present being and be loving filled with true joy. I will start to make my plan towards my calling because if I don’t do it I could just take a knife and take my life because there is nothing worst that being in so much despair and sobbing.

My calling is nudging me now. I have asked the question why am I here and now it is pushing me to answer it, ACT on it. I need to be ready to face it with a lot of courage and conquer my fears. I am afraid that when I go on writing with the best selling book on a way that I do not know how, I will starve but the universe is conspiring to lead me to it beautifully. Paulo Coelho said, “If you don’t fear the unknown, the unknown will be kind to you.” And guess what, God was never tired to love and grace me that He leads me to watch this video that answered so many of my doubts, an interview of Oprah Winfrey with an amazing soul Elizabeth Gilbert. Watch it as it may speak to you as it does to me – http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Full-Episode-Elizabeth-Gilbert-Part-1-Video.

I got to keep on writing now and the spark in my heart just got perked up and lusciously excited.

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