Yor Ryeter

[1: 1,353 of 10,000] I Am Looking At You

In Journal on October 12, 2014 at 11:37 PM

Pedestrian

I am so busy with so many things at work all considering that I should be an adult, got to be responsible that I turned out to be always in a RUSH.

I have been hurt and lonely so many times and there is no one I could confide to, available to listen, understand, or calm me that I bubbled myself and begged God to soothe my crumpled heart.

I’ve always tried to toughen up, focused on my path, that anyone who is not part of my story is blurred out. I walked in places without looking at people’s faces. I didn’t care about their presence. I don’t like connections more than the people I am capable and willing to protect (and believe me they are not a lot) because I am tired of getting hurt, and crying. I aim to be at peace, happy.

Then I read books, a difficult but enlightening book like “The New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle, and I recognised a crazy part of myself and I accepted that I could expand, that I shouldn’t make my life into a reel life drama. Slowly, I am starting to look at stranger’s faces, I am not sure what change will it do to me but I feel like I am trying to make a baby step into embracing an unknown.

I am trying to connect my spirit to the beautiful positive things surrounding me, to learn from my pain and gain wisdom, and worship God who has never left me but so loving and trusting that HE is letting me walk without support, watch me fall and GET UP, begin.

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