Yor Ryeter

[1: 1,438 of 10,000] Will You Live Tomorrow?

In Article on April 16, 2015 at 1:01 PM

Have you ever wonder if tomorrow you would still be living?

It’s funny how I have never fully appreciate breathing, that I am alive. It is one of those things that I take for granted. I always thought, tomorrow is just another shot, which I either endure or go through. Endure when depressed. Go through when aimless. I have not accomplished my purpose and I am not being pressured to do it, so why bother to expect so much from my lazy self?

Although there is another route, a positive one where the possibilities are endless. Regardless what tasks are supposed to be done, sleeping everyday is still to be considered, I watched the 4 episodes of the new Game of Thrones last night, I wrote a special greeting card for my sister, and pack the care package to Australia, which I dropped off this morning at the courier company, and today my battery is running a little low and I’m not drinking another gigantic cup of coffee.

It takes proper discipline to focus my mind to the correct course. See the photo below –

focusThat above photo is usually how my scattered mind function even when I lay in bed without the clear red coloured “focus” at the centre.

No Focus

It is ridiculously tiring and nonsense, I let my mind jump from one repeatedly obsessive thoughts to another that do not boost my “good feeling” because nothing good is accomplished; eventually I end up distracted and the self loathing begins. Is it the creative in me or destructive in me, that I replay scenes that have happened, revise with a twist, or never did and kept loop playing? No wonder having painful experience gets planted deeply into my soul because I let it be.

Focus is Present

I am now practising to keep my mind focused in one good thing at a time. It is the rule that if it is not helpful, then drop it. Blurred everything and aim for the red “focus” word at the centre. If I start in just one good thing, I could finish anything (including curing my procrastination weakness) and if I put a little more effort and lay the ladder to a wonderful goal, it gets done. Commit to one and for the love of God I forgive myself and move on.

Just like when I write a blog, I start, get side ways to Facebook and Instagram or reading articles here and there. I rely on I should feel right to finish a post, it is always the case but if I really start just thinking about the topic, I could finish faster and move on to the next task or next greatness.

If I die today and come back as a ghost tomorrow, I have no one to hold responsible but myself. It is stupid! The only time I will not be grateful for my life is because I have not found my purpose, I did not do my best, and so now that I know my track, I set my goals, live in the present, enjoy the sound of my keyboard, and the music playing in my ears. I am writing this in the middle of a mall, with strangers sitting around me, I am not looking at them and that Carolina Herrera green chiffon day dress, until I hit that good damn “Publish” button. 😛

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