Yor Ryeter

[1: 1,442 of 10,000] Trust Instead Of Worry

In Journal on April 20, 2015 at 4:50 PM

flying woman

I’m psyching myself to TRUST the good and everything will be all right instead of worrying. But TRUST isn’t the last thing I have to keep in mind, I have to do something now to not worry. If I’m planning to sleep the whole day again without making anything beneficial that would change my status; then I could go ahead and worry my whole life.

I finally understood why I started to become stagnant, I was too busy focusing on where I got hurt instead of focusing that if I keep doing the good thing, no matter what my own fear is insisting, I will arrive to my destination sooner, well better than the current sleazy couch potato. I am not lazy but simply not motivated enough. Although not entirely hard on myself, I have been having strange sleeping patterns, so whenever I get the chance that sleep calls on me, I give in, I do know that there were so many nights that I need to catch up!

I got up this morning, rested from a good night sleep, and I am telling myself, if I wanted to be miserable, I could kill myself now. Funny thing is I know I don’t know when will I die, I certainly find the lunacy or even the cowardice to kill myself… I just know that every time I go to bed at night, I will wake up the following day and I do hope that I get to live and I choose to kick-ass.

I no longer want to go to bed thinking I have regrets, that I have not fully lived my life and I came short. I will not let my sorry-ass rule my mind and control my soul to oblivion. It’s a new Monday morning, it’s a marvellous day to shake things up! Not to dwell on the pass, but living now!

Words are easier to type but if you could hear my heart that is about to burst into sobs again, you’ll find it sad. I know that I no longer have time for sad, I do however should entertain challenge. I let myself cry but after awhile I get sick of my crying self and I must eventually surrender to a glass of water, calming myself, forgive myself and say it’s time to get those hands dirty.

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