I have these irrational fears, some are very silly, and some are being defended by my scared self. I am sharing them, naming them, so that I would have more will to overcome them.
- I could recall that when I was a child, I was scared of storm. Our home is made of concrete and steel roof but with the heavy wind blowing, I was scared that it will destroy our home and we will all be soak in cold and homeless. I have to have faith with the engineers and construction workers that they did a great job.
- I worry that what if the bridge cracked while we’re in the middle driving and crossing? I was scared because I don’t know how to swim. I have to chill and learn how to swim.
- When there’s a steep road, I worry that the car won’t be able to climb up and we slide back. I then overcome this when I visited Jordan that a steep road is but normal.
- At the time at the hospital when I thought my mom is going to die that I prayed so hard and pleaded to God that not today. Everybody has a time to leave and that is why living is enjoying the journey.
- When I grew up, I was afraid to open messages and emails about something that is important to me. I was scared that my requests and questions are not answered positively or I’ll be attacked. I suck it up and just read the message whatever the result because I know life has so many possibilities and if I stick to my good story then there’s no way it won’t turn out great.
- I remembered the night that I couldn’t sleep when someone threatened me that he will have me arrested by a police. I was really nervous that I gathered my friends to pray for my safety. I learn that if I have to judge somebody, I would tell it on their face with love and gentleness. I will never shame anyone again even if I speak the truth.
- There are moments when I know that my youngest sissy drives alone, I worry that there’ll be an accident. I try to stop the thoughts and imagine that Archangel Michael provide a white light and wings that will keep her safe with her journey.
- It feels awful that my sisters are financially assisting me instead of I supporting them now that I’ve gone jobless for the sixth month. I am not giving up, the time off helped me so much to learn about peace, self-publish an eBook, and seeing the world with a deepening faith with God. I now know too that my sisters love me.
- The flesh temptation in my life suddenly reemerges and I am learning to stay strong and seek God’s help to fight it. I will try to focus on the good things and prepare myself before it kicks in again. I should stay away on circumstance which I know would only end badly.
- I am afraid of the unknown, how things will turn out, that I will be mocked by people for my shortcomings and at those moments that I catch myself depleting, I sit back and relax. I don’t let ego control my life. It’s a beautiful and easy life if I believed it to be. I am a pretty soul and loved and no judgment from others and even from myself will succeed to make me believe otherwise.
What are your fear? May we all learn to have courage and be victorious with God’s love, grace, and guidance.