I look back months ago and the perseverance within me to stay far far away from temptations are way stronger. I am now at the point of working that even my subconscious will be resilient to behave the way I do when fully awake.
What have I been working on to conquer?
- To not listen to my childish ego who wanted to stir unnecessary drama.
- To let go of the past that have painful memories involving other people and not without fault from my end too.
- To be forgiving when someone makes a mistake whether intented or not.
- To not snap with bad attitude when my button of fear or arrogance was pushed.
- To be lazy and just dreaming that my problems will go away without me doing anything.
- To not engage into indecent thoughts and actions.
- To be forgiving and kind to myself and everyone when I couldn’t comprehend what’s happening.
- To stop uttering bad words or unkind judgment towards others and myself.
- To keep myself healthy, sane, and truly joyful instead of not seeing the value and beauty of my very existence.
- To continue in strengthening my relationship with God.
I struggle about the above and I am improving, changing and growing for the better daily. I got to say listening and reading God’s words helped. Going to him through prayers, thoughts, blogging, journaling, and in every possible way I can to sincerely reached him with my devotion helped.
When I was counting just by myself, I couldn’t change my heart and soul. There is always a very heavy and constant difficulty to surpass it. I was a yoyo who is strong in one minute and then give in just so easily the next. It was futile, I was helpless, and even at the point of being pathetic because I was just fooling myself.
To round up how do I overcome my temptations –
- I thank God for his everlasting love and I seek for the Holy Spirit’s constant guidance. I am able to do the below steps because I know that I have divine help.
- Knowing that God loves me with my mistakes and my human imperfections, I could no longer see why couldn’t I love my brothers and sisters who in my human lame judgment are not worthy of my time, energy, and respect. I still choose the people who I want to hang out with but not falling into the trap to incessantly reason out in my head why others are not part of that cut.
- I look away from scenes or pictures that I know would provoke me to start thinking an obsession until I even act on it again.
- Control myself to get up in 5 seconds if I feel like I am being lazy. Once I take the instant leap on my feet, I am going to move and I will not be restrained in my own head that it’s all right not to do anything and just be contented pitying myself.
- I observe the intense sensation when I just snapped. I will try to be very conscious and remember to pull out the loving part of me to react further. I am not being harsh on myself too feeling all sulked up and guilty, I say I am sorry and move forward with kindness for my mistake.
- I am learning that I always have a choice to change my mind and do what is right. There is always a way to make things right.
- I have to use my time to great activities to prosper me. It is advisable that I have to create things. It is even perfect that I use my time to share my talent that make someone’s life better.
- Whenever my mind starts to drift to bad thoughts, I blurt “ssshhh” outloud or in my mind to stop it immediately. Breathe. Think happy and good thoughts, and then smile for my beautiful life.
It is not easy but it is possible to change and be a better human being than I am yesterday. I am grateful that I have found peace and the love within me as I chiselled out the blocks that I have been building throughout the years. I love God, I love myself, and I love everybody because I see in them what God sees in me, perfectly beautiful who has a choice to enjoy life with a great right path.