I try to always do the right thing but lately I start to question even my drive. I stopped being hungry. Moments come that I lose my grip for determination because I feel old, gets tired too easily, and allow myself to be very worried ending with no proper sleeps for two nights in a row. It boggles me that there is nothing worth living for.
I couldn’t feel anything because I am frightened to feel something. I am afraid to feel love again because I build up all the boundaries before it even begun. I let my judgment of others ruin my own value. Why is it that when I hurt so bad I wish to hurt back, which only freezes me in reality? Why is it when I got my heart broken I feel so weak to mend it back to whole?
When is a little going away from the wagon all right? Will I find my way back to connect with the one true source of love and live with kindness and courage to fulfill my dreams?
I still see a glimmer of hope. I am hopeful.