Yor Ryeter

[1: 1,887 of 10,000] Silence

In Journal on July 4, 2017 at 10:47 AM

My sister, my only flat mate, just left to have a vacation in Europe. I am left alone in our one bedroom apartment in Dubai. I couldn’t stand the silence for a long time knowing that I am alone and resulted to opening the television, playing something from Netflix through my laptop, or playing a podcast out loud from my phone. But when my sister is around, I love the wee hours where there is complete quietness and I can hear my raging thoughts, making plans for the future, and listing my graces that I’m grateful for.

There is a puzzle in my head that I couldn’t solve, my heart is restless and there’s struggle in my dreams when I sleep. I feel that I am close to solving it though, the pieces are all over the place but maybe I am missing a key, and I want desperately to finish in order to see the picture. I am haunted for not finishing and yet I also see the beauty of having it unfinished; but is settling with the unfinished showed that I got a mindset of a blind investor who did not calculate the risks?

I am worried, probably because of the Venti Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks or my body demands that I hit the gym. There are split moment that I caught myself to cease the worrying because it is not useful, but instead have the courage to do the work and show up to the things that I am passionate about, work to be great at it, or pursue to make it happen.

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