Yor Ryeter

[1: 1,905 of 10,000] Can I End It All?

In Journal on June 9, 2018 at 9:14 PM

Have you been following the news that Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain took their lives? I love Kate Spade items… I’ve owned her products because they are not very expensive but really pretty. I knew Anthony from sissy when she watched some episodes of The Layover which I now started to watch and finished Season 2 and he had a very interesting take on things from food, culture, hotel, and things to do in a place.

Last week, I was really in a bad place, having my buttons pushed from work. I feel disrespected and called lazy in a very subtle way. Some of it is true and I simply snapped and cave into my fight mode and ran repulsive feelings of I don’t need this job, I would rather quit and start my own thing, who the hell he thinks he is, and I was so frustrated that I’d rather die and quit life altogether. I know everything that I am saying is just me giving up instead of finding solutions to make things work the best way. I hear the things that are hurting myself. I’m glad my sissy talked to me, cried my heart out, then sleep, and enjoyed the weekend of doing the things that I love – nothing (lazy huh?) actually watching movies that made me feel better and listening to positive messages.

It feels easy to stop the pain by thinking if I die then all these sufferings will end but I am learning that life with God isn’t supposed to be that way. It was my hurt ego that was convulsing to the fact that my credentials and capabilities are being questioned. This is my chance to grow and after all the soul searching I found my peace and ready to go to work tomorrow with a fresh perspective and NO NEGATIVE ATTITUDE. It is also starting to push me to refocus and live towards the life that I wanted – travel, write, run a business empire, enjoy adventures with family and friends, and do things to make this world a better place than I found it.

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  1. It’s very disturbing to see you feel like this. You should remember that world is always full of problems and you are not the only one experiencing all this. Think of so many millions of others who undergo these things daily in their lives. But, never lose Hope. There is always a better life awaiting for you and you need to survive to reach that stage of life. So, keep positive always and face circumstances bravely with patience and smartness.

  2. Dear Yor, you say: “. . . I found my peace and ready to go to work tomorrow with a fresh perspective and NO NEGATIVE ATTITUDE . . . ”
    I am glad that with the help of your sissy you were able to use the weekend to overcome negative attitudes. You used your weekend well. It shows how important it is that people get breaks in their working life. I have not seen your blogs for a while. Am I right, that it would be good, if you were about to be looking forward to a little holiday with a bit of travelling?

    • Hi Aunty Uta. I came from 2-week vacation last month and have been spending weekend watching new movies. I have not been blogging a lot lately because of work and rest but am back to my grounded optimistic me again.

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