Yor Ryeter

[1: 1,990 of 10,000] What I’ve Learned After 110 Days Streak of Meditating

In Journal on April 11, 2020 at 8:00 PM

david-brooke-martin-50cGSHm1Jro-unsplash

My longest streak was 115 days then I got too busy to take care of my mindful need, but currently, I’m back on track and in my 110 days streak, and I hope to keep doing it for the rest of my life.

I usually do it after I wake up in the morning. I’m using the Calm app. I started with a guided meditation. I’m now trying to do a timed meditation of 15 minutes meaning just seating in silent on my yoga mat, always in the same place at my living room facing the window, with crossed leg and my thumb and index finger together (see gnome image).

Meditating taught me to find the stillness in my crowded and clouded mind. During the guided meditation, I was given several techniques on how to concentrate on my breathing. If my mind wanders to things that I need to do for the day, for instance, then I was taught to be kind to myself and simply bring back my attention to my breathing. Tamara Levitt has a soothing voice that made me feel cared for, blessed, and loved unconditionally.

Think about it, reality happens right this moment, and then it flees. It’s my mind that remembers that fill me with movies in my head, making the past to be present instead of me making a conscious and deliberate choice to do something new right now.

I am in my process of healing this year. I am learning to recognize what makes me feel alive and do it. I am learning to love myself, know that I am worthy, to be genuinely independent to stay happy without any dependence on others and to open my heart and my life for romance. The most challenging of all is to remain positive and not dwell on negative stories. I have to stir my pain healthily. For instance, there is an individual that I am still holding on, I am dependent to the idea that he’s the one for me, but the reality is we’re no longer connected, and I have to let the feeling go. Like my meditation practice, instead of being hard on myself like scolding myself for making a mistake, I soothingly speak to myself to immediately forgive me for the thought, and I gently ask myself to choose another. It helps that when I start to think about the person, I quickly say good vibes like “Thank you for coming into my life” or “I hope you’re OK, I’m OK”, and then I go do what I really need to do.

I hope one day, I’ve reached the point where I meditate to truly feel the alignment of myself to my higher being. I have patience, so, for now, I am contented that the practice helps me ground myself, find calm, and recognize that I am showering myself with unconditional love.

Photo by David Brooke Martin on Unsplash

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