Yor Ryeter

Posts Tagged ‘Afraid’

[1: 1,968 of 10,000] I’m Afraid

In Journal on July 14, 2019 at 3:02 PM

Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. It’s the willingness to show up or be seen even there’s no guarantee. It’s the greatest and most accurate measure of courage.

Having the above lessons in mind, I am going to examine what I am afraid of.

  1. I’m afraid to be sick and depend on others. I saw my mother endure cancer and lost her health day by day. I’m afraid to be physically broken.
  2. I’m afraid to die alone. One of my adviser in college was living alone and he died at home because of health issues and he wasn’t found until some days had passed.
  3. I’m afraid to be old and useless.
  4. I’m afraid to be ridiculed and judged.
  5. I’m afraid that I’m not good enough for the man I formalize in my mind to marry.
  6. I’m afraid that whatever I’m doing now isn’t useful for my future.
  7. I’m afraid to try new things to become a wealthier woman.
  8. I’m afraid to go broke and homeless.
  9. I’m afraid of being lonely.
  10. I’m afraid of being stagnant.

The bottom of it all, I really want love, to belong, and chasing worthiness. I never really stopped to inquire the above so I end up restless, clueless, and living without direction and passion.

What should I do now? I shall enjoy whatever I’m doing, to give my best and start with good intentions, to be grateful for all my blessings and miracles, to get proper rest and nourishment, and heal well so I may create, love, and be at peace.

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[1: 1,826 of 10,000] Do You Remember A Childhood Memory?

In Journal on December 2, 2016 at 9:30 AM

childhood-memories1

Do you still remember certain childhood memories? Isn’t it fascinating? I am actually in awe whenever a very vivid memory emerges and I wonder why do I remember that too clearly. Is it because it made so much impact?

Surprisingly enough, I remember instances that I’ve done something wrong or embarrassing; well I never knew it was ridiculous at that time but now that I look back at it that I think it was crazy and egoistic for a child to do. I’ve always been afraid and I got to stop doing that now.

I have to start making great memories and enjoy every moment of my waking life. I don’t regret anything, but I don’t want to sulk and feel bad either for not accomplishing what I am supposed to. Time to get working and keep moving onwards.

[1: 1,752 of 10,000] I Am Very Afraid

In Journal on July 13, 2016 at 12:00 AM

Afraid

I am very afraid lately.

Afraid of…

  • Losing my job and feeling useless with no money, to be in debt, staying at home doing nothing
  • Irresponsible and being late with my commitments
  • Getting scolded and shamed
  • Dishonoured and made feel very uncomfortable
  • Not good enough
  • Not progressing fast enough and get a breakthrough
  • I cannot fully love myself hence cannot love others

Fear

I know that everyday I need to get up in the morning and do what I have to do even if it’s painful. I have to soldier on.

I wanted to feel alive and happy; but right now I could count the times that I am laughing my heart out and really truly feeling peaceful. Move on, slowly but surely.