In Journal on April 1, 2017 at 4:22 PM
I was down… drowning.
Emotionally that I have thought repeatedly of being dead is better but I know I will never attempt suicide and I didn’t have to because I live each day without peace and it is as good as dead. I am drained even at work for being unable to excel, tensed to achieve perfection at all times, and got undermined.
Physically because I am gaining weight slowly but surely, last year my food allergy got revealed from poultry, egg, and seafoods – imagine all seafoods, including maki’s nori. I miss my fried chicken and my Japanese food.
I am lonely.
I long for someone to hug me and I don’t get it anywhere. I know that I have to completely love me before I go looking for someone to do that or it’s an absolute disaster. I know God loves me but I couldn’t connect with Him because I am not making any positive change.
I like to peek the future. I like to look forward to a good news. I went to see a tarot card reader and she was blatant that everything looks well except for a ‘dark’ one blocking everything. She reminded me to be grateful but in my head I am but it just doesn’t feel light. I do sense a block. My world was shaken up when the ‘devil’ card appeared. Am I Dexter now with my own type of ‘dark passenger’?
As soon as I left the tarot card reader, I decided that I am not going to be defeated by a devil or my own silliness of thinking that I am better than everyone else or I am too bad than everyone else. I am going to make my life beautiful.
Right now, I smile, a good one.
In Article on August 2, 2016 at 11:45 PM
It is beautiful to see when talents, passions, love, and inspiration are at work.
Just watch artists sing their song on stage, having fun, entertaining the crowd, and dancing. It is carefree but we all know works were put into it. It is simply beautiful.
In Article on July 22, 2016 at 3:10 AM
The watercolours above are samples of rough stones and aren’t they still gorgeous?
These are like people, each is different, each is going through their own transformations and battles to get better, and we should be kinder to one another and try to remember that we are intrinsically beautiful.
So which one are you? And what are you going to be?
In Journal on June 2, 2016 at 9:53 PM
Whenever I am in the presence of a majestic nature’s beauty, I give in to becoming in total awe and gratefulness. I couldn’t stop saying, “Thank you God.”
Being in privilege to see such beauty makes me think that whenever we feel like being irresponsible to destroy Earth, without proper discipline of littering, or acting greedy to throw harmful things not only to nature but also to fellow human, think of the picture that “it would be better to live in a beautiful world.”
The water and the waves were so vast, it looks endless and magnificent. I enjoyed every moment that the rolling waves hum, feeling the mist of the sea as it hugs the rocks, and the painted colours as it moves like freely dancing infront of everyone to truly adore.
Thank you beautiful for giving me such a lovely feeling that fills my heart with LOVE.
In Journal on November 18, 2015 at 1:02 PM
I’ve met death so many times that I know that life isn’t forever until this body that I have and this persona that I show up for ceases. Since I understood that it is not going to last forever, anything that makes me sad doesn’t need to last forever. I have the opportunity to always change my destiny or I was given the eyes to find what’s beautiful in every situation without bitching about what’s going wrong.
I don’t need to give in to people’s call for drama. I am trying very hard to don’t get affected and checking if people are truly truthful with their words and intentions. I don’t need to question their own fears because it is a battle they need to overcome. May my simple peace bring them the calmness and bring down the walls they’ve succcesfully built on their own to hurt themselves by being senselessly argumentative and defensive.
The world is giving so many wonders that I am grateful for. I am happy whenever I release laughters. I couldn’t believe the blessings that kept pouring in. I am particularly delighted whenever I am given with amazing surprises. 🙂
In Journal on October 21, 2015 at 11:28 PM
I woke up amazed because I dreamt that I was in a fantastical world like the unsunken and not lost Atlantis City. I saw a parade with different creatures that don’t look abnormal at all until I woke up and realised that it was such a magical and truly a beautiful world. I was with my new colleagues, in a new restaurant, and enjoying the whole experience.
I tried to find out the meaning of the dream but I end up to some gibberish interpretations that I am probably into spiritual transcendance or my truth that I have my own world. My slow adaptation at the work place makes me dig deeper into my inner strength with God’s soothing comfort that everything will be all right.
I wonder what will I dream tonight? 😀
In Photo on January 5, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Jordan is a beautiful country. The breathtaking views leads me to pray and thank God for the gift of keeping me in awe. If He can make such a marvelous sights, how much more a human who can live to live with it. Let the pictures do the talking…
The last photo is writing my name on a yellow sand using a red sand. Amazing huh! Thank you Lord ♥
In Article on October 5, 2012 at 5:08 PM
I use movie stars as example because they are available point of reference. It isn’t gossiping all the time duh, just citing a possible closest example.
Take for instance talking about a man who is quite an eligible bachelor, ready to start a family, and yet not taking the plunge. Was it nerve? Was it issues on long term commitment? Or he has not found me yet? As Joan Rivers says, he is a man who will not give a golden ring in a woman’s finger. George Clooney is hot and single again.
Money can’t buy everything but it does can make anyone look age flawlessly beautiful. Jennifer Lopez gets smokier as she ages and richer. Find her old videos and photos and see how the makeup was done and how she’s styled. Amazing leap of difference and it’s good for her. She is an inspiration that beautiful thing can become more beautiful.
And won’t you agree that making them as visual aid makes it a very attractive presentation than quoting my next door neighbor who I can’t even pronounce his name.
In Photo on September 12, 2012 at 8:45 PM
Now that’s positive attitude!
Now that’s beautiful ♥
In Photo on June 3, 2012 at 11:39 PM
Being in a dessert country for years I forgot how Isabela, Philippines looked like –
Oh yeah, luscious green without trying so hard. It left me in awe, appreciative with the natural resources, and I am very thankful to God for the beautiful scenery.
This is my take too on WordPress’ Weekly Photo Challenge: Summer, since I’ve taken it on May 20th, quite Summery in the Philippines.