Yor Ryeter

Posts Tagged ‘Childhood’

[1: 1,975 of 10,000] Huh! Childhood Hurt?

In Journal on February 5, 2020 at 11:58 PM

caroline-hernandez-agI0H_yMCVI-unsplash

My inner self knew that I am complete and I am loved but the fact that I have never let romance into my life, I am seriously unconsciously blocking it. I hired someone to coach me, well, anytime I needed to really learn and overcome something I sign up to work with the right person.

My parents never gave me up, nothing like that, but when my sister was born just eleven months after I was born, my grandmother (mom’s mom) happily volunteered to take care of me until she passed away and I started going to school so I moved back home.

Here’s the weird part, when I was asked to go back to my childhood memories, the moment when I started to feel unlove, I couldn’t remember it and I remember a business email I received even two or three years back. I can only rely on stories and then suddenly I started crying and my heart is breaking. It made sense that I got to be carefree and independent, believing that people leave because they die so there’s no point of investing on love and life, and the little me felt left out by my parents.

I am finally strong today to tell young Yor that I am here to love her unconditionally, she doesn’t need to be alone anymore, and we can make the best of life and not believing death is the answer to end a pain and get away from a broken heart. I am healing and for that I am grateful.

Photo by Caroline Hernandez on Unsplash

 

[1: 1,826 of 10,000] Do You Remember A Childhood Memory?

In Journal on December 2, 2016 at 9:30 AM

childhood-memories1

Do you still remember certain childhood memories? Isn’t it fascinating? I am actually in awe whenever a very vivid memory emerges and I wonder why do I remember that too clearly. Is it because it made so much impact?

Surprisingly enough, I remember instances that I’ve done something wrong or embarrassing; well I never knew it was ridiculous at that time but now that I look back at it that I think it was crazy and egoistic for a child to do. I’ve always been afraid and I got to stop doing that now.

I have to start making great memories and enjoy every moment of my waking life. I don’t regret anything, but I don’t want to sulk and feel bad either for not accomplishing what I am supposed to. Time to get working and keep moving onwards.

[1: 1,800 of 10,000] I Am Blessed With The Best Childhood Neighbor

In Journal on November 11, 2016 at 4:09 PM

childhood_cover.jpg

I am the eldest amongst my sisters, so I think the vulnerable and precious child in me was quite excited when I found out we’re having a new neighbor and I could actually end up having a grown up sister. She was kind, patient, and the purest soul who gave perfect answers to my inquisitive young mind.

This beautiful person was used by the divine to deliver a message, a hint and direction of what I should I be serving the world. She planted a very strong and healthy seed that inspired me to write. She said, “If you want your dream to come true, write about it,” that advice never went away. I daydream so much that wishfully magically my dreams will all come true. Then my motivation evolved in my teens that I will write to entertain and tell the original stories that are blazing in my mind. Today, I write like it is part to keep my soul, my very essence to be breathing… with a purpose that is nothing less than showing and living my purest reply to love.

After more than 2 decades, I found early this week that she’s vacationing in Dubai for a few days. I was ecstatic to meet my favorite neighbor in my childhood… actually one of the treasures in my lifetime who I will forever thank God for. I truly consider her as a very precious and important person that not anyone will have the privilege to meet. It is truly an honor to call her my eldest sister. So despite my tight schedules, I really have to make it happen that I have dinner with her.

At dinner, I asked her with my adult stature but with the same enthusiasm as my young self, “You were also young then, so where did you learn about to make my dreams come true, I have to write about it?” Her answer blew me away, she said, “We were kids, for every questions that you throw at me, I tried to come up with an intelligent answer.” Was it the work of the Holy Spirit who gave those words to her lips and my truly present consciousness was able to believe, accept, and understood the message?

Life is truly perfect, may you treasure your version of best childhood neighbor and may all children have their childhood neighbor that lead them to the right path.

[1: 1,635 of 10,000] Exploring Pity Me

In Journal on October 29, 2015 at 8:48 PM

Casper-1995-DI

Have you seen the movie Jerry Maguire wherein the athlete go to a television show and they are fighting not to cry during the interview? Cuba Gooding Jr. at the end was interviewed and he cracked even if he used to mocked the previous athletes who shed tears and said if it is him he won’t cry at all. Of course, it was not the case, he released an honest emotions through man tears.

I thought I am tough and won’t crack into crying if I talk about my childhood but a recent encounter proved me wrong. I was very vulnerable like the person I am speaking with could shatter all my walls, piercing through my soul, and she made me revealed that I still have a little child in me that gets scared and an adult that gets overwhelmed with all the emotions that I could detect from people around me.

It breaks my heart whenever I feel like I am to be pitied although I always exuded lightness and toughness that everything is going to be okay and I am okay. I never liked being pitied, I would rather be loved, respected, and rewarded with wonderful compliments and things that would make life a lot more comfortable.

[1: 1,629 of 10,000] Soul Reading Extravaganza

In Journal on October 24, 2015 at 10:56 PM

A1 103.tif

I met a woman who does soul reading. We have an appointment to connect for an hour. I was excited but when we started and she’s looking through my eyes directly, I got scared that she would see my deepest desires and secrets.

I was hoping to find out what my future holds and to find out if I have removed the blockage that seems to stop my launch.

She was spot on that I lack confidence. She saw my young self who wasn’t validated and given permission to express herself. I grew up to be sensitive as my father who could feel everybody and could turn out to be very overwhelmed. My father was there communicating through her and we’ve said our sorrys, me for not seeing him and he for not being strong as I have hoped him to be.

I was sobbing and I couldn’t believe there were so much emotions that I’ve hidden. On a regular day, I know that I am not contained by the past because I was at peace about it, but going back and remembering how I have to make it work makes me remember how painful it was. Sharing this experience right now doesn’t trigger tears and I wonder how could I’ve been so vulnerable last night with an audience.

She saw me having a son in the horizon. I am going to have a son with the qualities of my father. I am not ready right now to be in a commitment and have a family of my own, I am still indifferent.

[1: 1,521 of 10,000] Eating A Mango Brought Me Back To Being A Kid

In Article on July 8, 2015 at 1:36 PM

Baby-eating-mango

I was eating my mango out from its gigantic seed, yeah, similar to what the baby in the photo above looked like and it suddenly hits me that it brings back childhood memory.

I have not done that for a long time, mango was supposed to be served delicately taken out from its two beautiful cheeks but eating the delectable fruit directly out from the bone has been disregarded. So last night, I got my hands dirty and start devouring the not even the sweetest mango and it suddenly reminded me when I was a little girl.

It was a good feeling. I remembered that when I was a little girl, I have my parents and they’ve provided for me. I could also reminisce that we have a house cook then who made sure that she emphasized that she prepared two dishes that I love. I never worry about anything because I was taken cared of. It was really a beautiful feeling for doing such a simple act.

What about you? What experience makes you curl up and enjoy feeling like a kid again?

Time has passed and I’m all grown up. My parents are gone and I have to cook my own food now unless I go to a restaurant. But you know what didn’t change all this time who loves us all throughout our life? God. He loves you and me, no matter our age, no matter our circumstances, and it’s a beautiful feeling that it doesn’t have to end with unknown when I rekindle a happy old feeling, because today I know that God is with me, making me feel at peace and would love to see me joyful and spreading positivity.

Have a delightful day! 🙂

[1: 1,322 of 10,000] My Childhood & My Avocado

In Journal on May 23, 2014 at 5:25 PM

Robinsbite_Avocado-Corn-Shrimp-Salad-1-of-5How do you have your avocado?

Avocado reminds me of my childhood. It’s a seasonal fruit so whenever it becomes available, our household purchase some and put it in our rice dispenser, which is a gigantic antique can, and waits for it to properly ripe.

As soon as ripe, it is chopped in big irregular shaped chunk, sprinkled with lots of powder milk, white granulated sugar, and ice cubes are added. Crazy right?! I am not really keen on the ice cube, but I love the mixture of the ripe chunky avocado, milk, and grainy sugar in every spoon.

When I grew up, introduced to corn chips, then I found the greatest purpose, which is of course “The Guac”!!!

Writing this blogs makes me want to get myself an avocado from the supermarket. 😛

[1: 1,091 of 10,000] Kite & My Childhood

In Poem on July 23, 2013 at 12:00 AM

Kite

I made a kite in the most artsy way I can

With the anticipation to let it fly

Freely with that much height in the blue sky

I ran to launch it

Release the twine

All my hopes that it sores proud

Not to lose it and dive down

It was during a windy yet sunny season

Where kids sprout for kiting

It was a fun childhood game

[1: 679 of 10,000] Childhood Nemesis In My Dream

In Journal on July 11, 2012 at 11:52 PM

The way I remember it, I have a particular nemesis in my childhood. She belongs to one of the richest families in our town. She is always the Top 1 in our class ever since I can remember except Grade 5 where we have a different teacher and found me the brightest. She connive with the boys in our class to hate me too, I later found out that one of the boys liked her and they end up getting married and now got a cute son.

I saw her 2 months ago after so many years of not seeing her in person. I don’t hate her but I can’t bring myself to believe she is a friend of mine. My memories about her snootiness are still vivid that I could exist without her as part of my chummy. Last night she was in my dream. She was throwing up and really sick. I was deeply concern that she be well. Really weird dream. Really really weird.