Yor Ryeter

Posts Tagged ‘Enough’

[1: 1,882 of 10,000] My Eulogy

In Journal on May 27, 2017 at 3:59 PM

Life

She grouped the clothes hangers with the same color and type, she donated extra $5 twice to a fund raising to round off the collection, but she was never diagnosed with OCD because she never get herself tested.

It wasn’t OCD that lead to her passing because if you would expect her to keep a clean handwritten organizer then it would be the contrary because her calendar and to do list is all over the place, she admitted loving all the notes and mess because it is a sign of a life well lived and it is the same reason why she didn’t understand a clean rubber shoes.

Ideas flowed through her mind as air is easily available for men to breathe. She can fill pages of her random thoughts but mostly about philosophy especially what she knew for sure or almost believed so that is close to sure. That is another quality that we love about her, she speaks the truth and lived with integrity.

She lived her life without regrets. She thrived everyday. She had forgiven everyone especially herself. She touched our lives as she always said: “I care for you in the best way I knew how.” And it was indeed enough.

It will always be a joy to remember her, to have met her, and an example of a person who came and left this world better than she found it. Her endeavors with all new borns to be loved is remarkable. No baby is ever to be born with questioned dignity and perfection. She made us see that we are whole, complete, enough.

Photo source: Wall Paper Safari

[1: 1,600 of 10,000] Wrong Affection Can Go Away

In Journal on September 25, 2015 at 8:41 AM

strange_desire_by_micmojo

I have a desire for a man who I know isn’t the best for me but the more I try to avoid it before, the more that I was drawn or attracted to be in that wrong head space. He had a glimpse that I was in love with him and that scared me because I know that I will not allow myself to have an illicit affair with him.

It was truly funny that I do know he’s not perfect but I have attached him with so many fantasies and personal connections that I have an illusion that he makes me happy. I was obsessing about being in a drama with him, that he adores me, that I could be his second wife, or I could be his second mistress. It was really delusional and pathetic that I often cry due to unwanted jealousy and wrong connotation that I needed to save him from his wrong life path and personal desires that 99% don’t include me. I was trying to be part of his life even if I wasn’t invited (talking about strong will but all in the wrong senses).

It is freeing that right now I am truly at peace that he is no longer my addiction. My focus is no longer on him because I am busy to new things that are more important for me and I am truly able to serve others. It helped that I seek God’s guidance because I really couldn’t handle it by myself.

There are times that a little voice try to get my attention that I reconnect, tell him I am sorry for the things that I have done that have hurt him and his wife, and then I snap back to reality that “enough” about establishing new string of false friendship. I know that my peace and joy right now will rub on them because I have no other desire but for them to feel the same.

I am truly happy that wrong affection can go away. I am grateful.

[1: 1,446 of 10,000] What Do I Really Own?

In Poem on April 24, 2015 at 9:37 PM

I live in an apartment
I eat every day
I got money in my wallet
But what do I really own?

My brain functions
My heart beats
My whole body grind
But what do I really own?

Is it my thoughts?
Is it my words?
Is it my feelings?
What do I really own?

When I strip all of it
When nothing else is left
There is love within me
A love I couldn’t really define

I see men’s weaknesses and yet I love them
I know nothing is permanent so I am grateful of now
I look inside me and I find myself “enough”
And yet not entirely enough unless I love

Human Glow