In Journal on January 22, 2017 at 10:40 PM
I could feel the drive of a parent, to be a determined and responsible for a new human life. A parent even has a creed to give more than he ever enjoyed in his life for the sake of his child. A parent becomes selfless and turned into a superhero.
It crossed my mind what kind of child will I conceive in this world? Will it look like me having half of my DNA? But I got to remind myself that I don’t own the child, it has a faith of its own. Will I be used as a contributor? Will I have Abraham’s legacy to have as many offsprings as the countless stars?
I wanted to create a business empire where there is honesty, enjoyment, and growth. I want to serve with kindness, inspiration, and love. I wanted to find my tribe so we can do it together. Oh how I long for this, my baby.
Photo source: Mt. Hope Family Center
In Journal on December 26, 2016 at 12:53 PM
I thought I am truly worried for my sister who doesn’t have a stable job, just recently gave birth, and married a man who cannot afford to buy milk for his new born baby. I am furious and angered that her family life is poor.
It is not easy but I am learning to let these facts go and see it in a different perspective. She is meant to be a mother and I couldn’t compare it with my path because I am career driven with different priorities.
What if my nephew will turn out to be amazing and needed to be borne exactly at this time to make the divine plan works? I’ll never know, but I must know that it is not right that I judge her life choices. I have to let her live her life as I live mine.
In Journal on December 25, 2016 at 7:15 AM
Christmas is because of the beautiful birth of men’s savior Jesus. God so love the world that He gave His only Son to become human.
In my own way I’ve got to spent it with my sister, greeted my relatives and friends abroad via Facebook, prepared a feast, open presents, laughing out loud and tearing up watching old Christmas movies, and above all remember how blessed I am that I am purely love, unconditionally by God.
May this day be as magical as you’ve never expected to enjoy the fantastic surprises! Don’t look at the imperfections, or the plans that didn’t go well, be at peace and let it be. Enjoy the moments because it’s only the eve and the whole Christmas Day that we get to be festive and have reasons to be in touch with everyone with extra good cheers then we wait for another 364 days to pass.
I did have my boundaries and intend to have things the way I’ve wanted but for this Christmas I pray love for everyone without any walls but simply spreading good intentions.
Have a very merry Christmas! 😉
In Journal on June 23, 2016 at 11:54 PM
I belong to a family of romantics and whores.
My family seemed to have a wrong definition of love that we didn’t care the existence of children out of wedlock, having romantic entanglement to a married men, and keeping two homes with two separate sets of affairs with one common denominator.
It is played like a game that my young self got scared that I will follow suit. I eventually felt the pain of the multiple deceits, hearts got broken and trust was difficult to repair but possible.
I honour my ancestors for the good that they did and I learn from their mistake just the same.
In Journal on June 13, 2016 at 10:50 PM
Am I turning into the man I was drawn to a few years back? A man full of frustration, anger, and the exuberant desire to murder people. I have a hint in me that my light will shine upon him and that I could give him a taste of what being good be like. One year after we parted due to disagreement, I find myself turning into him. Is this a curse of my own doing?
I have a demeaning thoughts and a clouding darkness that is starting to infiltrate me. I know that I am supposed to be made of love but it is so hard to unveil it when my life is mostly focused on work and my job place is filled with politics, the biggest ego there is, and I am just fed up that there is more negativity that positive auras. I feel so sad that my relatives are reaching out for my help and I don’t know how to help them to better their lives, oh dear why did they even bring children in this world and couldn’t be responsible to take care of them with a comfortable life. Then there are the people who are supposed to treat me with good customer service but quite idiotic not to pay attention and give unreliable answers. I am so mad!
I just came from vacation but something is bothering me. I am unhappy. Something is blocking my connection to love and although I wanted to cry, there is not even a single drop of tear that falls. I felt like a stone, living but without feeling. Or I do have a feeling, a dark one?
This has to stop, I don’t know how, but I’ll figure it out. It is time to write good dreams, I even forget how to write good dreams or imagining. I used to have vivid and wild imaginations, I could make up story on the fly, but now my interest and intellect have changed that I don’t want creating anything silly. I am too embarrassed to make mistake and make a fool of myself; simply because I expect more than that.
I just don’t like bullshit anymore. In this world, it seemed to be too hard to ask.
In Article on June 11, 2016 at 8:26 PM
My sister and I have been cleaning our apartment this weekend. We’re not moving again but we both feel like we’ve successfully accumulated so many stuffs that are cluttering our small space and we feel that it was time to have a new sense of energy within the house. Last night I went to bed with a different direction, I don’t particularly feel different but change is good.
I still remember the days that we’ve played with our small pots, doing make believe grocery stores, and my sister playing with her house Barbie. Now, we’re adult and we are responsible with ourselves. We need to be committed in paying bills on time, showing up for work, and in this lifetime do what would let us get up in the morning without the use of an alarm clock (I’m watching a lot of Elementary from Netflix – yes I find time to watch t.v. – and that means I am thrilled with work if I don’t need an alarm at all).
We’ve examined our stuffs and some things that seeemed to be worth keeping ages ago suddenly was quite easy to dismiss to either give-away or simply throw. We’ve outgrown quite a lot, we’ve been a lot, and yet life is not over until it is just is. I so wanted to have my own home, with a good place to dry clothes just out of the washing machine, a library, a home office, a good kitchen with island white and grey marble table, a cozy but elegant dining room, a garden, a breathtaking room that opens up to a beach view with waves putting me to sleep and waves humming to wake me up every single morning, a lovely foyer leading to a roomy living room, and lots of guest rooms to accommodate my family and friends who will come to visit me. Right now that I don’t own that home yet, I do hope that I live with the basic, with cautious on not spending on unnecessary stuffs so I can breathe.
We’re not done with the clean up but it’s quite fun! 🙂
In Article on February 13, 2016 at 9:42 AM
I realised that I was unhappy few months back and then I finally learn from someone that I failed to invest time and effort to establish good relationship with my family and friends or building new relationship intentionally.
All I have to do is pick-up the phone, send out messages, plan a get together, and make the intentions and efforts to connect with others to have a meaningful long-lasting relationship that is based on love, growth, discovering life’s delight and creating memories.
It has always been up to me to make the investment, to take the initiative, and make the leap that unless I take action to keep the great communication flowing. I’m glad it wasn’t too late and to keep confining myself to loneliness and being alone; I am grateful.
Don’t be lazy and shy, go on, make the move to start something with your family, friends, and neighbors. Have fun! 🙂
In Journal on November 20, 2015 at 2:37 PM
My sister’s friend together with another sister and mother visited Dubai. With our tiny studio apartment, we tried to fit ourselves in 10 days. These family love to travel and they used to include my sissy in their exploration and they also open their home for her.
I love my sissy and whoever is kind to her will automatically have plus points from my end and I would try to make them comfortable, welcomed, and have good memories by being a very pleasant hostess. My sister was teasing me that I was acting like a radio for telling different stories about UAE, I’ve been here for 7 years, so it must be natural to my perky me.
Their mom travelled with them so I just have to give up my bed and slept in the sofa. It was hard that I couldn’t blow dry my hair everyday. I couldn’t move too well. I slept late. I worry a little if they’re not yet home. We couldn’t open the air conditioning all the time because they feel cold too easily and my sister and I are sweating.
I realised that having a small apartment originally domiciled by 2 isn’t advisable for 3 new visitiors. I crave even more to really have my own space. I may be bubbly and accommodating but once I reach home, I want to hear my own thoughts or be simply at ease and peaceful.
I really hope that they had fun, despite the little mess. The good take away is it was nice to have a new experience by meeting new people. All is good! I move on until the next guest at home. 🙂
In Article on October 22, 2015 at 12:44 AM
I intend to over deliver for my work but whenever I try to stay late my sleepy and tired body gives up. I also have trouble concentrating lately and this is not good.
I am trying to cope with my colleagues who treats me as a family and it means we spend time eating out and drinking at night too during work week. The best excuse to not get drunk is I am driving tonight and the last time we have a business trip and we are all staying in a hotel, they remind me that I am no longer driving and ensured I drank champagne without limits (sort of).
My happy heart needs to chill and enjoy the moments. I also have to speak with my boosting energy provider internally to cooperate. I must have a serious talk to my procrastinator and fearful self to calm down and let me focus to produce results. It’s a beautiful life and I am very contented and excited for the future success of the whole team.
It’s time to forget about impressing anyone and just look at people being free, happy, and works getting done with a purpose and in a very profitable manner. I got to roll my sleeves and heck whether I get a pat on the back or not. It’s amazing to be appreciated but the real treat is God’s smiling to what I have been doing.
God, help me have the wisdom and energy to make you proud. May my works serve you, because if it do, then I know I’m simply okay. I love you. I am grateful for all the graces you continue to provide. You know my deepest desires and may they be guided with your love. Kisses.
In Journal on October 7, 2015 at 6:37 AM
Yesterday was a bit of a long day. I was wearing the wrong shoes for checking furnitures (2-inch heels may not be too hight but if you’re looking at the whole showroom and warehouse of IKEA, well you know what I mean), I wasn’t too happy about my slappy outfit, Dubai weather is still briskly hot, and I am anxious about some tasks that I want done smoothly (admittedly, perfectly).
The other day, I got a weird chat message from an acquiantance and it caught me off guard about his real intentions of prying. It is about somebody who I don’t want to dishonor or discredit in any way so I was very careful on what I say. My Monday night was weirdly exhausting emotionally.
On top of the above, my sissy asked for my help for a certain assignment and I was starting to get furious because I am really feeling exhausted; but I tried to pull myself, enjoyed the moment and helped her and still do the things that am supposed to do. I love my sister ever so dearly and I told her I am really sorry but I am annoyed at you right now but a part of me is fighting that I could calm down and help even if my throat is hurting and I just want to do my own thing.
I slept soundly and woke up with a new surge of energy. It is one of those times that when someone is in pain, he needs rest or space or just the time to do what he needed and wanted to do. It’s going to be a wonderful Wednesday! Wednesday used to be my favourite, so today is special and blessed.