Yor Ryeter

Posts Tagged ‘Meaning’

[1: 1,702 of 10,000] Alive For A Reason

In Question on April 30, 2016 at 11:57 AM

Life Span

Not everyone who kills himself dies.

Not everyone who likes to live lives.

Is it because our mortality is not our choice but a destiny?

Would we give in to the idea that we soon meet our ends because we have lived our purpose, either knowingly or unknowingly? If this is true, may we just then have the pleasure of finding the brink of joy amidst an unexplainable suffering.

I do not know what I am really saying or having the eloquence to communicate it clearly but death and living are fascinating me, especially the part of answering “why”? I am a little obsessed of finding a meaning of everything, especially about my very existence. Or it this the perfect time to let go of matters I couldn’t grasp or persevere until I am satisfied.

Why do I live if I get bored? So I can find another way to express life with simplicity, relaxation, acceptance of what really is, and then enjoy every gift of waking up in the morning.

Why do I live to have opponents? So I can find ways to be sociable and peaceful, to see a different perspective, and possibly help someone go through the suffering of not understanding someone’s pain.

Why do I live just to soon die? So I can deliver my very existence to this complex world and to add to its flavour.

Life will never be measured by time. It is not how long you have lived, but merely have you truly lived? Have you utter gratitude, have you endured pain, have you let yourself laugh or cry, have you connected with someone or anyone, have you shared your fears and triumphs, because it is everything, not just the good but also the bad, and the falling and rising again, until the time comes that another realm of life is about to unfold. Do not aim for perfection, aim for trying again, and for appreciating and being present in every part of the journey.

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[1: 1,424 of 10,000] I Am Searching For My Breakthrough

In Journal on March 25, 2015 at 7:22 PM

I resigned from my job last month and I told my 34 year old single self that you have the whole month of March 2015 to figure out what path to take next. Is 34 the age for woman’s mid life crisis? Or I just didn’t get the memo on how to live a care free life?

I just recently started sending my CV out even if I know I didn’t figure out about how to truly live a meaningful life. I have been reading proper books from people who I think has so much wisdom. I have been watching a lot of TED Talks where I could pick up bright ideas. I think I am almost getting it but I am not breaking through into my AHA moment. I am walking in a semi dark room it’s alarming me. I know my bills are coming next month and I don’t want to max out my credit card while my car loan is still ongoing until 2016. I am not worried about money, I am alarmed for being blind in what is the proper track. How am I going to be useful in this lifetime?

rapunzel_short_blonde_hair_by_johngreeko-d6c6wz1I see my batch mates who are married with kids. I see them go on vacation and happy on the photos that they’ve posted in social media. I often wonder if are they really happy? Is that it? Are they contented? Am I supposed to follow that route? I have problem being close to new people, if it’s necessary I can be the friendliest person in the world, but given a choice, I just couldn’t trust people too easily. Maybe that is my problem, I wanted to pick the people who I wanted before I even consider them worthy of my time. My EGO is so huge, I am meant to be locked in a castle with no door and a short hair.

I want a meaningful life. I want to be truly of service. My very recent heartache probably detriment my eyesight that I am worthy for me and for others. That I should never let the people I love to be the source of my reason to move forward. That I should not wait to be rescued but be the hero that I needed. I’ve always wanted to study art, then I thought I wanted to write, I also want to be in business, and yet I am not quite so sure I knew my message anymore. Maybe it’s VARIETY because I was never satisfied with just one thing, I may focus on LOVE as a theme but I should be talking about everything like this blog, I do not limit myself with just mindless mumbling, it should have a little culture and talk about serious subjects, or talk about fantasy, or incredulous vulnerabilities.

Thank goodness I still know how to appreciate tiny projects that has been going on in my life. I am grateful that I have my sissy learning to drive on her own now that I am imprisoning myself at home. I am grateful that our laundry caught up just in time. I am grateful that I am cooking real food everyday. I am grateful that I sleep properly. I am grateful that I left the love of my life but I am not his so I’ve stopped the lunacy. I am grateful that I have applied to jobs that are promising of a happy career life. I am grateful that I should make the Greece vacation this year. I am grateful that I will figure out this life before March ends. Shit I only have until tomorrow!