Yor Ryeter

Posts Tagged ‘Pain’

[1: 1,880 of 10,000] Learning Heartache

In Journal on May 25, 2017 at 1:36 PM

I don’t know if I have properly love somebody but I could certainly agree that I have obsessed with various men hoping that they love me back. Do they call that unrequited love? Or am I so cray cray that they ran as far and fast that they could?

In my search for true love, I go back to the Bible’s definition of it, I still believe it is the most legit to consult for the purest meaning of anything in life, didn’t they even put HOLY to emphasize the divinity of it? 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is my go to definition.

What I learned though, at the very moment that I am in love (or obsessed) with someone, my mind constantly associate him in almost anything that I come across. It could be another movie star, a thing, and yet everything that reminds me of him totally vanished its power the moment I am over him.

I always thought I will never see Chris Pratt or Michael Fassbender the same way again because their lips remind me of somebody I thought I love; but now that I see these two movie stars, I couldn’t even remember his face clearly as I used to. I just laugh now whenever I remember the days that I was crying over him and getting jealous without even having the right position to do so. It’s messed up and I am relieved that I am over it.

To those who suffer with lost love, it’ll pass. You will heal and I say that without bitterness.

[1: 1,877 of 10,000] What Was Your Reason God?

In Article on April 29, 2017 at 1:08 AM


Two men that I respect for their spiritual belief belonging from two completely different countries but both love God answered these line of questions with identical answer. If God is so loving and would only want the best for mankind, His very own creation, then why are there so many sufferings? Why do bad things happen to good people? Their answer is…

“I don’t know.”

It is true that God works in pretty mysterious ways. I often wonder why do Father rape their own daughters? Why do criminals due to their mental illness exist to havoc emotional and physical pain to the people around them and don’t even realize that they do? Why do God let the simple meeting the basic needs of food and clean water being so difficult? Where is God?

I also don’t know…

  • But I got reminded that human race carried a curse when Adam and Eve have eaten the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden.
  • I also have faith that God never stopped loving men and send miracles despite the outer suffering that men’s naked eyes could see but not for the intellect to possibly comprehend and grasp.
  • God sent His only begotten son Jesus to be the way, the truth, and the life for men. He died for men’s sins for a beautiful and promising eternal life.

It does puzzle me that if heaven is all beautiful, why are men need to be on Earth to endure so many challenges that breaks the hearts and loan the souls?

  • “Heaven is in our midst,” those words lead me to not rush and crave for the afterlife but to enjoy peace in the present. Peace is not the absence of distraction but peace within me directly connecting with the almighty.
  • Finally, I believe that through battling my challenges, I become stronger. When I suffer, I develop empathy and would be able to be kinder to the others who suffer the same. And when I am truly tuned in, I could make a difference to make this world better than I found it. That’s just me; but what if the thinking spreads to every single one on Earth, it’ll be revolutionary.

The pain is part of the hero’s journey despite pain doesn’t stop with just one. Just like a rough diamond is not brilliant until it goes through some ridiculous amount of meticulous cutting and grinding.

Photo source: The New Yorker


[1: 1,849 of 10,000] Bring In Pain

In Journal on January 5, 2017 at 11:50 PM


Life is teaching me right now about appreciating PAIN.

I struggle for disappointment.

I needed pain to propel my growth.

It is not easy but it is true.

[1: 1,807 of 10,000] Controlling The Past Thoughts

In Journal on November 18, 2016 at 11:27 PM


It is terrible that I am letting my past comes rushing through my daily thoughts and even paralysing me. I am a fraud that I no longer live with integrity but my anxiety and laziness win. I am afraid and I need to pull out hope and be strong to live a beautiful and successful life.

I am drunk of claiming glory and it weakens me when I don’t know how to achieve it. My heart is in it but my compass doesn’t follow.

I thank God for the words that I am able to compose together, because through it, I see the glimpse of holiness and love. Thank you that I am not totally left alone in the dark without seeing the brightest stars. It is not over…

[1: 1,713 of 10,000] Pain Goes Away

In Article on June 5, 2016 at 9:30 AM

Are you hurting right now? The pain will go away but before it does, find the gem it brings. It may be trivial like teaching you to forgive, okay that’s a little big, or make you love yourself more, ooppss that’s pretty big as well; the thing is pain brings big lesson that is worth all the sleepless nights, the excruciating agony that seemed no end, and then when you’ve reached rock bottom you’ll realise that there is no other way but to rise up.

Check where your focus is. I don’t know if it is my talent that I am capable of forgetting the painful details, it’s like having an amnesia, it’s not really about trying to hide away and not facing reality, but I have help ignoring the ugly and focus on what’s good out of it. There is always good, you don’t need to trust me, but for the sake of your healthy life, believe it.

If you start surrounding yourself with great things, the bad starts fading away. There was this man that I adore not because he’s perfect but there is so much about him that I associate myself. I knew that he was meant to be part of my life until the expiry of our relationship needs to end. The best way to completely end the connection is to burn the bridges, I didn’t regret how it played because it was the best way. I thought we need each other, I thought I need to help him, and now I still remember him but the ardent desire to be part in each other’s life is not there anymore. I could only pray that he’s truly happy wherever he is right now. I am very happy. I always bounce back and chirpy glad that I am alive.

I could always feel when someone is in pain and I question why do I need to feel it. I feel like I have to do something about it but when I am too close, I get burnt way too easily… so in ways I can, slowly finding another medium to help, to share like to write about it. When I am in pain, I take a rest as simple as getting a good sleep, be kind to myself and to selected people that I can reach, and then I do the work to love what I do whatever it is like working to survive or cleaning the house or doing the dishes, finally I am grateful for the blessings like I breathe maybe not very easily but getting there.


[1: 1,673 of 10,000] Our Pain Reveals A Lot About Our Path

In Journal on January 4, 2016 at 8:07 AM


Being in pain is a state that I don’t want to be, I deliberately try to avoid it, resolve issues to not feel it, or the worse that I can do is to try hiding and running away from it like it never happened. And yet, when I examine my pain, I learn a lot about myself, the people surrounding me, and the path that I am about to take.

My pain reveals a calling that I got to embark if I allow it to be. My life’s circumstance, feelings, and beliefs are different from everybody else; which makes my experience unique and revealing of a new path for all others to hopefully learn from. Whenever I dare, I don’t just do it for myself, but pain is scary, making me froze, and sometimes losing the will to live.

It is demanded that I have to stay strong, find solace in God’s arm, and move forward with glimpse of hope, the surge for enthusiasm, and the will to tell my story because my pain reveals a lot about my path of encouraging somebody else other than myself, to bring light where darkness seems to be there is, and the circle of experience gets completed.


[1: 1,630 of 10,000] Life’s Pain Is Normal

In Journal on October 24, 2015 at 11:34 PM


It gives me comfort that life’s pain is normal. It is through hardship that I challenge myself to do better. It is those crucial agony that I get to be stronger to face my next challenge. It is the victory that I am not giving up and overcoming this that delights me to keep living life with a smile.

I am typing at my kitchen marble table right now and I could see the lights of the city, it’s beautiful. My neighborhood is quiet, the construction site finally decided not to work so no hammering, no noisy trucks that makes that repeated sound when backing, and I could totally hear my own breathing. At this moment where I could enjoy the simplicity of just being and not thinking about the worries of life that I feel immensely grateful. I feel so lucky, cared, and loved.

[1: 1,581 of 10,000] Soldiers

In Article on September 6, 2015 at 9:56 AM


In the belief of fighting injustice and protecting a freedom, soldiers are brave to risk their lives. I pray for the enlightenment of people especially those who couldn’t see that tyranny is an act of the ego.

It is true that we shall have a short life on earth, but I wonder why some of us choose to live it in fear, in agony, and without giving love a chance to speak and live. Why have we built our wall so high to not see that we all are brothers and sisters and we can collaborate and help one another?

Succeed but not on the expense of someone’s sufferings.

Thrive but not on the thought that you are not deserving of rest.

Live, truly live in the present because it is all we have.

We have to uncover our eyes about the false reality that we are separate from one another. We are one. Are we waiting for a world catastrophe to recognise that we are to build up one another instead of pinning each other down?

Mercy. Forgiveness.

We can end a war, confusion, and sufferings if we could gather the courage to apologise and ask for help and if we could accept and give mercy. Causing pain on someone doesn’t only give somebody bruises but we could cut our own self for participating.

May we seek pain that helps us breakthrough, a suffering that would shift our perception into goodness, and may we not wait for later but NOW to breathe with love.

May we all find our power to love.

[1: 1,491 of 10,000] The Madness of Unconsciousness

In Aphorism, Article on June 8, 2015 at 12:51 PM

The world spins in madness unless a man chooses to live in consciousness. -Yor Ryeter


I have done something I do not regret. I don’t know where the courage came from to have done it but I relied that it was the right thing to do though painful. It has two faces, telling the truth yet breaking a trust. I was convinced that I was helping to relieved an agony of the unknown to be able to cure a wound that has been deliberately neglected because of fear.

The man who committed a mistake and who I broke his trust hated me. The woman I freed from her incessant longing for truth betrayed me. Now I wonder what does this teach me when the man who hated me threat to harm me for my decision.

I learn that accusations especially when false should not affect me. It was the first time that I have understood that what a person judged others could actually be a true reflection of his own. I am being condemned and yet instead of fighting back and devising a way to get back, I surrender on my knees that he realises what’s worth fighting for.

I meddled because no honest man deserves to be treated with disrespect when there might possibly be a way to cease the piling lies. And yet a man who is jealous and in pain could still betray a friend; but is it a waste if the value of honesty was upholded?

I am sorry if I have started havoc but I am not apologetic for being truthful to the right person who needs answer. I told friends and family of my challenge and they advised that I stay away from these people, and I understand their concern, but I know in my heart that I wish them peace, courage, kindness, and may the true love within them outweigh the challenges that they face so not to succumb to being fearful, deceitful, and mad as an immediate action.

[1: 1,370 of 10,000] Why We Dwell On Our Misery?

In Journal on November 28, 2014 at 8:10 AM

Blame the EGO and ourselves.

obsessionI am emotionally in pain, heartbroken and I continue to struggle to make things harder. I am blocking my own future happiness by reliving the things that pound my heart but I know I am recovering. My mind believed that when I continue to feel the pain, I feel alive, dramatic, and yet it stops me to move to the happiest place.

My EGO covers my beautiful imagination and locked me to moments that made me destructive, unforgiving, angry, and pathetic. I could fight this back my recognising it and be present, smile, and ask am I okay right now? I am not stuck in a stone with crushed hand bones am I for 127 hours? I am okay right now, this moment, typing a blog, smiling, listening to music, and then I remembered his sweet voice, remembers his gorge face, lying gentle smile, and all the flirting; and back to square one.

January 30, 2015 – My freedom day. The day I shall never have to talk to him ever again. The day that I should forget all the passwords so I wouldn’t need to see him anymore. But before then, I got to focus on what would make me happy without thinking of him all the time.