Yor Ryeter

Posts Tagged ‘Pain’

[1: 1,363 of 10,000] I Got Nothing To Say

In Poem on October 31, 2014 at 5:46 AM


I usually have so much to say.

They may be rushed but insightful. Honest. Ruthless.

Am I still mourning with my realisations?

Or my heart’s silence is learning and living how to be calm.

To contemplate?

Or just sad.

I can grieve. For a while. No, properly.

Feel something painful and then let go.

Then my journey starts again.

This time more sure of the things I will ignore.

More focused on the things I shall look forward to.

Determined to what is important for my being.

My health. My spirit.

[1: 1,302 of 10,000] Behaving Correctly

In Journal on February 14, 2014 at 1:37 AM

I surpassed Valentine without greeting him unlike last year wherein I didn’t let the day passed without blowing love towards him. He just married yesterday (surprisingly with sadness, teary eyes after the ceremony, and is that hesitation) so I think I still remember my promise, I have behaved correctly. I did not confide with my tequila afterwards, I have behaved correctly. Best Friends I just have to work on my respect towards him. I couldn’t be annoyed when the love is gone can’t I. He is an erratic negative person who forgot to calm down when pressure strikes so now that I no longer fancy him I am challenged to care for him… to extend my patience and be emphatic. How can I be compassionate when I fear to fall in love all over again? I do have a fighting facade but when I dig in my heart, I just have a heart that melts for every drop of kindness, sweetness, and loving persuasion to get pulled into his gravity.

[1: 1,228 of 10,000] I Love Deeply

In Poem on December 2, 2013 at 10:25 PM
True Love Kiss
I am afraid to love someone
Because I am afraid of getting hurt
Especially when I lose the person
I’ll force memories to become blurred
I know I will recover overtime
For quite a very long time
I am afraid to love someone
‘Coz I don’t know if I can handle another pain
Losing a loved one isn’t easy
But not loving anyone is absolutely miserable
I am admitting I love you
Even if it’ll never be requited
In silent I shall care unconditionally
Responsibly, reluctantly, but willingly, dreamily

[1: 1,197 of 10,000] Compassion

In Article on November 3, 2013 at 3:57 AM

There is beauty in everything including the painful challenges that we are going through right now. Pain could allow us to recognise what is missing in us, and it pushes us to make a change, to defy circumstance.

The most magical gift a pain could do is leading us to become compassionate with the other people around us especially recognising those who are going through what we’re going through or have been through. This is leading to a group, a meeting of people who were given the same struggles to be able to help one another.

It’s a wonderful outcome for a pain if it leads to compassion, kindness, and remarkable transformation of one’s soul.

Positive Outlooks

[1: 1,025 of 10,000] 2 Years After

In Short Story on May 20, 2013 at 12:00 AM

TalkIt was an odd cold night during summer. The moon smiles while we sat under the twinkling stars although we both know it was not really twinkling.

“How are you?” he asked.

“I am fine, nervous but delighted about tomorrow, how about you?” I returned the question.

“Missing you since I lost you…”

“You did not lose me,” I shook my head, “you can’t lose something you never had,” I finished and I heard him sigh.

“I loved you then and it seems like my heart says I still love you now,” he confessed and I could hear the pain in his voice.

“I never felt loved by you,” I admitted.

“I tried telling you how I truly felt but you rejected me repeatedly. I cannot handle rejections so I never tried enough to pursue you. Seeing you today brought back all the memories I hoped for both of us. I regret the day I know I may never have the chance to see you again, I just sat there and did nothing.”

I looked at him. His eyes were filled with tears and I wanted to hug him and yet I can’t bring myself to do it. I thought at one point I loved him but I love myself more and went on to fulfill my dreams.

Here I am successful and walking down the aisle tomorrow. I honestly don’t feel the same regrets that he has in his chest.

“I got to go now,” I started to walk away and he stopped me by holding my hand.

“If I tell you not to marry him because I love you will you ran away with me?”

“It was meant to be that you didn’t pursue me before because I will never love you like I love the man I am committing of my forever tomorrow. He is everything that I ever dream for a partner. I am sorry.”

“Does it mean if 2 years ago, if I have seriously courted you it wouldn’t make a difference?”

“It wouldn’t make a difference at all. Good bye.”

[1: 958 of 10,000] Feeling Rebellious

In Journal on March 14, 2013 at 12:00 AM

Scream, go ahead S-C-R-E-A-M!

I am feeling rebellious right now after realizing I feel undervalued, sad for someone is leaving, and disappointed that my plan is not going my way. For the first time in my life I don’t know how to control myself. I cannot direct my brain and focus to finish things. My mind is all over the place. My heart is simply broken into pieces.

I am sulking for two days and I am not giving my best performance, no matter how hard I try to ask myself to snap out of it I am really rebelling and boiling inside. If this continues I will rot inside and I will drain all the love that is left in my heart. I don’t feel well at all and I was investing too much at the wrong pot. I got to pull myself out because I think I am on denial but falling way too fast into love and I am still so jealous. I am hoping blogging about it will finally hit me in the head and expressing my jumbled feelings into words would wash the pain away.

This challenge is new. I don’t like it but I am dealing with it.

The only comfort that gives me joy is watering my plant in the morning. Seeing a miracle of a new life and I contribute as the steward without expecting anything from it in return except that it won’t die anyway – that gives me true joy.