Yor Ryeter

Posts Tagged ‘Past Life’

[1: 2,062 of 10,000] Plum Wine and Japan

In Journal on August 19, 2021 at 9:59 PM
When all I can use my AWAY cabin luggage is to hang my bags, dreaming traveling from a Tivoli poster and drinking Plum Wine from Japan

I’m drinking a four-year old plum wine from Japan tonight. Japan was the last country I’ve visited in February 2020 before the worldwide pandemic started. One sip of this sweet wine and I’m transported back to memories of good food and a broken heart.

I was told my past life was a merchant who travels a lot and enjoyed a comfortable life. If I don’t play my card right, I’ll be replicating the same thing, which would be a shame for the sake of human experience and not taking advantage of varieties. I know myself that I’m not a fan of repetition but there’s just one thing though I also need to overcome my willpower weakness.

Despite being a true adventurous at heart, I have a strong pull for foundation, rhythm and security. It sounded like being responsible to have a comfortable home, being out of debt, have friends that I can call and yet I have to keep questioning all my beliefs and redefine what I truly desire.

It all boils down to being creative and fine a new way of being. Speak up what’s in my heart and be courageous to go after what’s keeping my driven, not because I’m proving something to someone but because I have my own desire to make a new path that I feel drawn and I want my light to shine upon.

For days I’ve been questioning why do I choose to be alive? What’s the plan now? I’m cozy and comfortable but I don’t feel like I’m contributing enough, and then I pulled back and quiet myself, it was never about doing so much or so little, it was always about experiencing everything in the moment. It’s not missing the awe-ness of the fleeting second that will never come back but a memory.

There’s beauty in cycle. There’s sacredness in being part of life, yes, even if it’s just breathing without expectations or destinations. Enough about being too rigid of always accomplishing only to detest that I’ve never stopped to rest, to appreciate where I am. I’m tired competing even to myself without pausing to see the vision of the big picture.

Yet after some rest, I’m ready to keep moving again. My muse finally arrived.