[1: 2,003 of 10,000] Me And My Impatience

I’ve read, heard and agree –

• If you’re too busy to pray, you’re too busy.
• You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes everyday; unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour.

I always remember those words because I have a particularly challenging habit of rushing, making quick decisions because 90% of the time I already know what I want, finishing, and when I encounter obstacles to my flow it stresses me out and oh I tend to juggle too many things on my plate in the first place. Writing the first sentence in this paragraph makes me chuckle because I know exactly what I can efficiently improve, do what’s truly valuable and impactful that makes my heart sings.

I was in a business meeting earlier and I could already feel the impatience building inside me and I felt really bad that I wasn’t gentle on myself and to the host. Now that I’m in the comfort of my sofa, my weekend started, I can go back to reassess my feelings and I’m grateful for getting the opportunity to see where else can I grow to be a kinder person. Life’s too short to be naughty and I want gifts from Santa!

[1: 2,002 of 10,000] First Day Jitters

Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash

Even at my oldest age, I still feel my first day jitters today back at work after a local annual leave of six days. It was the same story during my teens in high school for my first day to start a semester. Was it really jitters or unconfined excitement?

Before going to bed the night before, I set the alarm at 5:30 AM to make sure I have enough time to do my well-being routine. The moment I woke up, I stretched, I say a longing prayer of a perfect day, did a meditation, yoga, journal, water my succulents that am propagating, enjoyed duck wrap for breakfast, wash the dishes, folded the dry laundry, took a bath, and off to work.

To crush my stress away knowing I have to go back to emails and pending works the fastest possible, I started with greeting someone a happy birthday, and it made me feel good of the surprise knowing it brought warmth to his heart with the shower of beautiful words and sweet cute gestures from our colleagues. I then remember why I love doing nice things to other people, it doesn’t just make someone feel good but it always backfire on me exponentially.

At the end of the day, being conscious of how the day went, I felt satisfied, I felt the grace of God hugging me every moment to calm my worried mind, and now ending my day blogging.

How was your day?

[1: 1,956 of 10,000] It Wasn’t Just Me

For months I was stalling very important works only for all those tasks to catch up on me when the event was about to happen. I was so nervous! I let my emotion as my benchmark whether to show up to my responsibility, it wasn’t like me at all. My made up dissatisfaction and feeling uninspired crept me up so much that it froze me to do what I need to do in my job. So days before the event, I was working like crazy, 24 hours wasn’t enough, and so my last resort was to call my Hail Mary.

I prayed to God that the event will run smoothly. Whatever great things will be in His glory, and whatever screw up are my lessons to learn. After all the worries for how many months, the event was finally over and it was a success in the eyes of those who are not part of the organizing committee. I have received praises and I couldn’t take full credit for them because I know in my heart that it wasn’t just me, I have magical help to vanish my worries.

Are you worried about something right now? Pray. God listens to us and whatever fear we have He’ll help us through it if we let Him. When we walk with love instead of fear, we triumph.

[1: 1,859 of 10,000] Wishful Kid

Dear Heaven,

I couldn’t contain my excitement, you hear my prayer, and I could sense that it’s going to come true soon. I just give you my big smile, utter my thank you, and send you my kisses.

I love my life. Tom Ford just inspired me that his life could end in a blink and he won’t do what he doesn’t enjoy. Barrack Obama is giving such eloquent speeches that makes me excited to take the podium and speak my mind. Jewel has gone through so much in her teens and yet here she is who understood living in the present. It is such a marvelous guidance that you constantly give us.

I am grateful for all.

Love,

Yor

[1: 1,732 of 10,000] Nothing Personal

Hush now heart, mind, and soul
It is nothing personal when you are being attacked
Human is scared and protects himself

Love and love even more
Love and love anyway
Despite and amidst the hatred, fight with love

Watch the crippling anger
Pause, let it go, and don’t go back
Don’t let it grow, put it into a halt

Find the centre, the quiet, the peaceful
It exists, in meditation or prayer
Mostly in the act of kindness and forgiveness

Enjoy LIFE
Have courage to be silly, laugh
Do what’s best everyday and learn, that is all that is.

[1: 1,670 of 10,000] I Am Changing

I am changing, for the better?, well I hope so.

I know that I am slowly changing that the thing I care about before doesn’t even come close to my priorities right now.

I could see the inflated ego of the people around me and this time around I don’t fight them but on the other hand, I still have that habit of thinking to run away. I could not run away forever whenever I feel like I am not in the right circle of people that builds me up, I need to go deeper and tap into my calmness so the people around me get influenced by my steady demeanor instead of instantly reacting into a fight mode.

I know that I am also a contributor of this negative circumstances because of my negative thoughts the previous days. I was reaping my fears and I should really do an internal clean up before it is too late that there are more to sort out.

I don’t really understand how am I going to live my life. I am still at the edge of adventure but it’s not comfortable, I feel lost, and I am scared. I have been living my life alone and now all I can confide with are my books, my journal, and my solitude prayers.

Is it time for therapy? Or just time to face my fears and do the work? It’s always been the latter.

[1: 1,646 of 10,000] It Is One of Those Days

It is one of those days when I needed three more hours of uninterrupted sleep. To lounge and stretch in my comfy bed. To enjoy not doing and worrying about anything.

Then I hear a podcast about church as told by Steve Chalke and it is inspiring, realistics, challenging but possible to serve others. I reminded myself that I needed to bathe and prepare for work where I can serve.

Is it weird or is it me that I am sensing something from my colleagues who don’t seem to appreciate the works that they do? They forget why they do it. They think blurting they are bored, would rather have tea, and trying to fit me in their notion is really going to work well. Is it one of those seasons that we speak our story even if they are not nurturing?

I bend my knees and pray. When I pray, I have this sudden surge of gladness that would keep me energised for the day. It is all I wanted, to get through the day with wonderful and loving thoughts toward everybody. It is not too much to ask. Definitely not too much to ask.

[1: 1,641 of 10,000] Yay Uber Busy Bee

I am super busy that anyone who gets my attention is really important. I am enjoying my new work, the challenge, and the growing dedication. I wanted to make a difference and I am hoping to really rock it.

Although, no matter how busy I am, I do devote time to blog everyday, sleep everyday, eat well as much as I can, and pray. These are things that I love and I need so it will always have a room in my day. Praying makes me feel grounded and more courageous that I can tackle anything because I have a glorious help. Blogging makes me feel like I do have a life outside of work, something I can be proud of and umph my groove. I need to sleep and eat because it will keep me alive.

I am looking forward to weekend and sleep long hours. I hope it is not the same as last Friday where the agenda for the day is sleep. 😀

[1: 1,638 of 10,000] If There’s Only One Prayer I Need To Learn

If there’s only one prayer that I need to learn, may it be to say “thank you for all the beautiful and challenging matters that are going on in my life,” because then I amplify what’s good and I’ll be given the courage to face what’s not easy.

I was so used of not understanding the power of “thank you” but now I know that it helps even better to make everything looks beautiful, breezy, and absolutely delightful for every surprise that pops up.

I love books and finances are tight that I just couldn’t splurge spending, not right now, and what the universe sees as a solution is sending different people who are even located in different countries to send me books to read. How kind and generous is the God who sees my deepest desires and answers them in His most amazing ways.

I will never understand everything, His majestic plan, but every once in awhile, He lets me see a glimpse and it’s magnificent and I feel all right despite the odds that I have to conquer.

Dear God,

Thank you God for yet another beginning of the month where I know you would be there supporting me with my endeavours. Thank you that I am able to stand tall and with energy to keep moving forward. Thank you for the strength that you continue to bestow upon me to overcome my inner resistance.

Thank you that you allow me to serve you…

What would you have me do?

Where would you have me go?

What would you have me say and to whom?

I am sorry whenever I get lost of my path. I am sorry that I couldn’t control my ego that demands an audience. I am sorry I get a little mad because I get defeated by my fears to start and finish.

I need you God. Only with your love that I feel comforted. With your peace and blessings that my works are anointed. Bless me that today I will remain calm and accomplish great works to honor you, to honor the gifts that you’ve given me, and to honor you through the people that I serve.

This I pray in Jesus’ name, Amen.

[1: 1,573 of 10,000] A Human Serenading

With my human voice

And talent for tunes

I sing you a song

Right from my soul

Not as majestic

Or grandiose as yours

Hear the melodies

Pulled out from my heart

Thank you, I love you

All these words were true

Can’t restrain myself

Singing them all day

I praise you with love

Love you with my all

How lucky I am

To know you in whole