Yor Ryeter

Posts Tagged ‘Self-reflection’

[1: 2,053 of 10,000] Pausing To Savor

In Journal on February 22, 2021 at 9:54 PM

I’ve noticed that lately I no longer rush and surrender to the demand of others to suit their time but instead I honor my own rhythm in the name of my sanity and joy. When I started my journey of loving myself unconditionally, the world cooperates to delight me.

When I seat down for a meal, there’s grace in me savoring the different ingredients that I could taste. I now nourish my body with intention and marvel to the fact that I have delicious food, I have the energy to feed myself and I’m grateful to all the beautiful Spirits that made it happened.

Learning to revere stillness invites me to be grateful to the simplicity of life’s magic. I have some pots with soil in our apartment and my sister suggested that I plant the tomato seeds in there. Everyday we water the soil and soon after tiny plant starts to emerge and they’re so cute. The growing vegetable are giving us a beautiful surprise every waking day.

I’m in my fourth year of writing at least one sentence a day of what I’m grateful for and it feels rewarding to be alive. I know there’s growing pain but there are more happiness if I am deliberate to focus on what makes me feel good. I do make plans in the future, setting up personal chats with people I really like, doing something for the first time for experience sake, and there’s more excitement waiting for the day that it’ll come. It’s very satisfying to pen in activities that makes me smile.

When I hear other people who are not gentle or kind on themselves, I can really sense it now, because I’ve been that. There are times that I still fall apart but I’m better at healing myself, naming what I’m really mad about and then I be quiet coyote to listen to my heart. My heart knows everything about me, what’s good for me, what my next move is, and when to simply relax and feel the moment.

I hurt a nerve in my back today after trying out a kick-boxing exercise from an Instagram video. My body that didn’t visit gym for months was shocked and completely snapped at me. It’s serious because there are certain positions in the middle of the day that I couldn’t breathe easily and yet it didn’t deter me to stay optimistic and I’m confident that my body is intelligent enough to heal itself. Body ailment is a good indicator that pause is exactly what’s needed. It made me reflect too about the things that I could easily do and have taken for granted when I’m incapable of freely moving without struggle. If I couldn’t breathe, I may just call it ‘a life’ and be cremated; but I know it’s not yet time and I’ll keep on insisting to this life that I will live my life, my perfect blend of story and maybe blog about it every once in while.

[1: 2,051 of 10,000] Self-love On Valentine’s

In Journal on February 14, 2021 at 11:12 PM

This year is the most special Valentine’s Day I could ever appreciate in my adult life because I know the value of self-love. I feel so whole and I recognize my self-worth that I don’t look for outside validation and acceptance. My cup is full that I am able to give without expecting.

My healthy self-love will reflect my quality relationships with people who will not deplete my energy but instead inspire me to gain more passion towards feeling alive. My healthy boundaries make me honest of what I am feeling and recline to self-care until I’m rejuvenated to join the world again.

I have nothing to prove to the world. I don’t have to conform to the relentless need of rushing and worrying. I have a responsibility though to check in with myself to what truly makes me joyful, what lightens my heart and what do I need to heal and a burden to let go. Each of us is in our own path of growth and we can’t expect to be at the same pace at all times and that’s absolutely fine. We have to honor what resonates with us.

There was a moment that I never stopped to pause and ask what fills me up. I thought I’m Superman that I can keep on giving the people that I adore with care and surprises only to realize it’s not sustainable. It brought me sadness that when I finally halt and asked what makes me happy and I couldn’t answer so I knew it’s time to focus the priority on me.

I will not wait for another human being to save me and love me, I am taking charge of my life and I’ll sweep me off my feet. I finally start chipping away the blockages that I created to not access unconditional love that has always been available, my truest essence, the human’s superpower.

[1: 2,050 of 10,000] Making Mundane Sacred

In Article on February 8, 2021 at 1:26 PM

I have several household chores that I dread to do. I’ve noticed though that when I’m well rested, they are not dreadful at all. There used to be one though, washing the dishes. I don’t have automatic dishwasher, never experienced having one, and after some acceptance and facing my demons I’ve made it a sacred act.

If you’re wondering how the hell can washing dishes subject me to face my shadows. There was one time that I did the dishes and I was criticized by my mother that I didn’t do a good job. If I took it as a constructive criticism, it would have been over because I did miss a spot not because I was sloppy but I really didn’t pay attention. It was an honest mistake and it hurt my feelings. There were a period that I avoided washing dishes fretting, “What’s the point, am not good at doing it anyway.”

Eventually, our home was reduced to two people, so this time around, I have no excuse not to wash dishes, especially that my housemate (youngest sibling) don’t like to clean cook wares and loves baking (let that sink in, baking means using different measurement cups and spoons and a whole lot of things). This time, the anxiety that I built up is feeling obliged and dragged to keep our sink clean, which means empty from dirty dishes. There are moments that the pressure I give myself makes me bring out my ugly side, procrastination (dreading to finish a task), losing sleep, and feeling disappointed of myself. I know right, the simple task of dishwashing can arouse all these emotions.

Washing dishes may be a mundane or ordinary to anyone else, but it was my teacher. Then I came across the notion of what my hands touch and work on is sacred. It changes everything because it invites me to enjoy the whole process. It calls me to remember my strength and what I’m grateful for. I am a very organized person, and I love how I categorized glasses and utensils like a marching band putting a show. I delight to the bubbles that I create, the satisfaction when I removed a grease successfully (thanks to Fairy dishwashing liquid, not sponsored), and the best part is allowing the flow of water wash away the food that was shared with love, laughters and reverence.

P.S. I don’t stress out if there are days that I don’t clean the dishes right away. It was never a point where it smells and create an atomic disaster, but I know when I’m doing the dishes, it’s a sacred space for moments to marvel that I’ve grown as a human being.

[1: 2,003 of 10,000] Me And My Impatience

In Journal on November 5, 2020 at 8:22 PM

I’ve read, heard and agree –

  • If you’re too busy to pray, you’re too busy.
  • You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes everyday; unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour.

I always remember those words because I have a particularly challenging habit of rushing, making quick decisions because 90% of the time I already know what I want, finishing, and when I encounter obstacles to my flow it stresses me out and oh I tend to juggle too many things on my plate in the first place. Writing the first sentence in this paragraph makes me chuckle because I know exactly what I can efficiently improve, do what’s truly valuable and impactful that makes my heart sings.

I was in a business meeting earlier and I could already feel the impatience building inside me and I felt really bad that I wasn’t gentle on myself and to the host. Now that I’m in the comfort of my sofa, my weekend started, I can go back to reassess my feelings and I’m grateful for getting the opportunity to see where else can I grow to be a kinder person. Life’s too short to be naughty and I want gifts from Santa!