Yor Ryeter

Posts Tagged ‘Trust’

[1: 1,711 of 10,000] I’m Getting More Courageous

In Journal on June 3, 2016 at 12:02 PM

I have been very afraid, unsure of my capabilities, and neglected loving first myself. It was an exercise that I have to make sure I learn, to be more courageous, to trust myself, and love me like no other human has ever did (and really now most love for me should come from me).

Anantara Uluwatu

Still admiring the beautiful Bali beach, before I finally pack, and head back home to Dubai. The water has its own life, it sings and dances, and it doesn’t care about the human but human get flexible for its strength, beauty, and fickle emotions.

May I be like the sea for its glorious vastness of beauty, it is true to itself without a care in the world, but we human as the assigned caretaker need to ensure that it is safe because just for its very existence, it can gives us an energy beyond words, it soothes our souls for its authenticity.

#surflife

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[1: 1,477 of 10,000] Dead End

In Journal on May 25, 2015 at 7:40 PM

It feels like my world reached the dead end and as much as I did cry and shamelessly did a little bit of self-loathing, I couldn’t bring myself to give up. I just couldn’t agree that my life ends this way. It’s nothing dramatic like I am dying but I start to question my real worth to be still occupying a space in this world.

Onward

I have never been so vulnerable. Trying things I could never imagine to claim a little bit of happiness. I am trying my best to live a thoughtful life. I am praying that I hear God’s guidance. I couldn’t hear Him and I am not going to stop to getting up everyday and do what I know could make a difference.

I couldn’t understand why can’t I stop chasing my own tail? Why a step forward leads to so many wrong turns? Where am I headed? I know it’s going to be good and it is just so difficult to have no control of things. I am learning everyday, may be right now, all I am supposed to be is a student of trusting the unknown.

[1: 1,442 of 10,000] Trust Instead Of Worry

In Journal on April 20, 2015 at 4:50 PM

flying woman

I’m psyching myself to TRUST the good and everything will be all right instead of worrying. But TRUST isn’t the last thing I have to keep in mind, I have to do something now to not worry. If I’m planning to sleep the whole day again without making anything beneficial that would change my status; then I could go ahead and worry my whole life.

I finally understood why I started to become stagnant, I was too busy focusing on where I got hurt instead of focusing that if I keep doing the good thing, no matter what my own fear is insisting, I will arrive to my destination sooner, well better than the current sleazy couch potato. I am not lazy but simply not motivated enough. Although not entirely hard on myself, I have been having strange sleeping patterns, so whenever I get the chance that sleep calls on me, I give in, I do know that there were so many nights that I need to catch up!

I got up this morning, rested from a good night sleep, and I am telling myself, if I wanted to be miserable, I could kill myself now. Funny thing is I know I don’t know when will I die, I certainly find the lunacy or even the cowardice to kill myself… I just know that every time I go to bed at night, I will wake up the following day and I do hope that I get to live and I choose to kick-ass.

I no longer want to go to bed thinking I have regrets, that I have not fully lived my life and I came short. I will not let my sorry-ass rule my mind and control my soul to oblivion. It’s a new Monday morning, it’s a marvellous day to shake things up! Not to dwell on the pass, but living now!

Words are easier to type but if you could hear my heart that is about to burst into sobs again, you’ll find it sad. I know that I no longer have time for sad, I do however should entertain challenge. I let myself cry but after awhile I get sick of my crying self and I must eventually surrender to a glass of water, calming myself, forgive myself and say it’s time to get those hands dirty.

[1: 885 of 10,000] Trusting a Donkey for My Life

In Journal on January 4, 2013 at 8:55 PM

I never ride on a donkey before. They say going to the Monastery of Petra will take about 2 hours by walking (knowing my baby steps I might reach longer) and 30 minutes on a donkey. I want the experience and I don’t want to get so tired so I say here here for a donkey ride. With the spectacular view on the ground, I could only imagine what up ahead is something more grand I supposed.

Petra Donkey Experience 1The owner of the donkey instructed me with three things: (1) lean forward while going uphill, (2) relax, and (3) hold on the saddle. With the word relax, it sure made me a bit nervous; it means the fine animal would be able to sense what I feel and I was being optimistic the moment I rode on it all because I wasn’t expecting what the road looked like.

Petra Donkey Experience 2By the time we started the journey, it was okay. I hold on the saddle so hard. It was comforting to know that they say the donkey knew exactly the way and it knew the shortest way. I was thinking, the owner of the donkey will be holding my rope or he’ll be beside me throughout the journey, no no no I was alone and I guess I just let the donkey do its thing. I didn’t make sound, I didn’t direct it, I just let it walk.

Petra Donkey Experience 3Oh boy, it did know the shortcut of dying young!!! It liked the plane way even if it means it is the edge of the cliff. The way to the top was steep and scary. Going up costs JOD 15.00 and going down cost JOD 5.00 – I was holding to my life going up but I think going down with a donkey is a complete suicidal mission. I was holding my breath for the whole journey!!! I was so scared but I try to calm down, remember Rule No. 2 Relax. I kept saying to my donkey, “Don’t be competitive and just slow down.” I guess the fine animal absorbed my clumsiness because at one point it stumbled but got up just fine like nothing happened! I was in panic at that point but I kept my cool.

The greatest feeling was when I stepped down. Saved!

The view at the top was not disappointing at all but I would probably think a million times before I will ever do it again… trusting a donkey for my life.

[1: 453 of 10,000] Too Good To Be True But True

In Poem on November 27, 2011 at 9:12 PM

I used this image because of the words "Take A Chance" and I love the whole look. Photo Source: http://hellobazounga.blogspot.com

 

With a little hesitation

A bit of scare

Too good to be true but true

Can only be proved in pew

 

It won’t be long

It won’t be wrong

The chance bestowed

In flourish it’ll tow