In Article on December 20, 2014 at 9:53 AM
There are people in the world where they couldn’t control their anger and their twisted goal that they do harm on others. They seemed beyond human that they are capable for hurting somebody. For this type of people, for those moments of madness, is it really right to just kill them? If they die, their evil doing ends…
I just watched The Equalizer yesterday. Denzel Washington was quite heroic killing the bad guys, he does it because he can, and he does it to give people the chance of living their happy peaceful life.
Why am I writing this? I have this deep guilt inside me that I somehow capable of cursing people who have hurt me to endure pain or end up dead. Is it really coincidence that those who have hurt me in the past ends up in a coffin? Or someone dear to them did? And I am not feeling sorry at all, not a single bit because I thought they deserved it.
I am scared of myself. I know I have always tried to do the right thing. I have never intentionally hurt anyone. That’s why I feel betrayed that someone could shatter my delicate feeling; and I start building a hatred and wished the person feel worst than he ever did to me. Whenever I am in this thought, I try to stop myself, I try to divert my focus on better things like reading uplifting books to get away from the cursing thoughts.
God, forgive me.
In Journal on December 19, 2014 at 6:02 PM
There is something about him that made me swoon. I know he is not perfect but I was drawn to fall for him. I have an immaculate “self-control” because I never give in to admit that I am romantically in love or seduce him in any way. I know if I have ever tried, I can be a very ashamed mistress by now.
I saw him into a live-in relationship, then got married, and now the latest pain I have suffered is him having his very first mistress. It is actually the point where I draw the line, I thought I am saying adieu when he’ll have his first child, oh well it was when the mistress that has appeared out of nowhere that made me snapped. He spoke that he is a loyal person and it was the one thing I thought that was good about him, but the moment he cheated on his wife, I completely questioned his character and the person who I thought I knew for 2 years.
I couldn’t rationalise my affection towards him, he reminds me about myself, he reminds me of my parents, some quirks remind me of my sisters of whom I loved the most, and he has the same birthday like one of my best friends. It could be an illusion adoring him so this time around, I have learned my lesson, and I just need to forget about him.
Few days ago, he remarked that “I miss him” since I have not seen him for so many days; it wasn’t even a question, he was too cocky to ask. I’ve contemplated that statement for 2 days, do I miss him? And then in a chat, I told him, “you have been gone for so long I got used to not seeing you anymore.” I really don’t miss him, but my heart demands that I stay so far away and wish to never cross path with him again.
February 2015, Freedom Day!
In Article on December 12, 2014 at 9:57 PM
My perfect definitions of Woman -
- Not because “man” is found in its word doesn’t mean it needs a man to protect her. The difference is having the “wo” in front because a woman is capable to lead any man and she can actually do it with great style and unconditional care.
- If you think woman is weak and can be summoned, think again, Angelina in The Tourist may have been summoned, but she knows she is dearly loved and her man will do great length to find her and tell her she is loved.
- She cries because she would rather touch your heart with her vulnerability than to stoop down to a level of berating, an unworthy of her energy.
- The smart woman is not easily persuaded by sex appeal but looked for stability of his mind and his confidence to keep up with where she already is.
- Woman is equal to a Man.