[1: 2,071 of 10,000] Whiff of Change

There’s something in the wind
I feel a change
Starting, circling
Stronger within me

This is new
A lot more conscious
Determined
Undefined

Standing powerful
Kinder
Loving
Divine

Time knocks
Not scaring me anymore
I welcome
And embrace it

Flame me
Burst me
Thrill me
Free me

Hello
I’m awake
I see
I allow, accept

[1: 2,070 of 10,000] Soaking The Sun

Like a plant made of accepting cells
I went out to soak in the sun

Morning hugged and kissed me
Filling every crevices of my skin with light

I can’t stop smiling, teary eyed even
What a glorious day I get to feel free

This moment, I’m present
Enjoying being in stillness

I stayed longer as I could
Even if it burns, sweat

It’s worth every connection
Right here, right now

I feel nurtured
Alive

[1: 2,069 of 10,000] Confession In The Rain

If there’s one scene with the perfect lines that I love the most in the First Season of Bridgerton, it’s the profession of Daphne’s love in the last episode. Even accompanied by the melody of Max Richter’s The Four Seasons – Spring.

“Just because something is not perfect does not make it any less worthy of love. Your father made you believe otherwise. He made you believe that you needed to be without fault in order to be loved, but he was wrong. Should you need any proof of the matter, then… Then look just here. I am tired of pretending. And I cannot continue acting as if I… As if I do not love you. Because I do. I love all of you. Even the parts that you believe are too dark and too shameful. Every scar. Every flaw. Every imperfection. I love you. You may think you are too damaged and too broken to ever allow yourself to be happy, but you can choose differently, Simon. You can choose to love me as much as I love you. That should not be up to anyone else. That cannot be up to anyone else. It can only be up to you.” – Daphne Bridgerton

We can learn something significant in those words in this lifetime.

We have to stop pretending to not feel hurt when we are, to not feel appreciative when we are, and feel something so powerful that our hearts burst into explosions of love, laughters and tears.

When we love, it can only be the all. We cannot love the sky without the occasional rain, lightning, thunderstorm, rainbow and sunlight. We cannot love only a part and pretend the rest doesn’t exist. We have to love the shadow and the light and hopefully the love is brought out to shine that we strive to always be better as we flow with life.

In every moment of our life, we always have the willpower to choose the same or differently. We cannot make the excuse that we don’t have the option to choose better to what will give us happiness, joy, growth and peace.

[1: 2,068 of 10,000] Let Nature Be Free

I was in a WhatsApp Group, and one of the members saw a beautiful bird that accidentally flew into his office, and he decided to put it in a cage. Another wise member commented it was free, playing and exploring, and now a prison. It was a profound moment for me that these two people were teaching a valuable lesson.

We are all beautiful creatures free to explore, but we even choose to cage ourselves in situations that halt us from moving forward and growing in the moment.

We see beautiful humans, and we try to capture their essence in our grip; in our watchful eye, they couldn’t breathe. Love is free and allows the flow of life to happen, and we become a witness, not a control freak that stops our soul evolution.

May we find our strength in our uniqueness and courage to let each other blossom in our natural environment. Let nature be free, including the breathing human.

[1: 2,067 of 10,000] The Moment I Created Space

I’ve created space in my life that I allow life to flow. It’s a glorious feeling that I don’t doubt it because the peace emanating from within me is so strong I bathe in it with much delight. Just when I thought my art of allowing can get any better, it does and I’m so excited to share to everyone how to experience it.

It’s unapologetic but instead graceful in reflecting unconditional love back at me. There’s pureness in its language that there is no rush nor constraint only relaxed breathing space for energy to dance and play. What a journey that I’ve been through and then here I am, beaming with light.

I’m like a new born baby appreciating every tickle I grab out of life. Going back to an innocent eyes yet wide awake of how people thrive. I feel the dreams being created, planted, and shout out loud back to the Universe to be created and they’re glorious. Start with having fun and see the tragic comedy as a teacher with life lesson to be appreciated.

It’s an exhilarating blazing life in a beautiful world, join it! Offer what makes you joyful, offer it what frustrates you, offer it your creation, offer it your pain, and most of all offer it your reverence. Reverence you asked? Why not, you’re part of its co-creator.

[1: 2,066 of 10,000] Eternal Flame Within Me

It happened yesterday
Vividly felt its lingering presence
Eternal flame living within me

I love its presence
I’ve been ignoring it
It waited and now I see

Eternal optimism
Endless gentle understanding
It embraces all of me

My critical self loved
My expansive Self leads
No regrets only being here

Oh will I always feel this?
What a gift
I remembered it exists

Me seeing it
Means you will see it too
Love growing brighter

[1: 2,065 of 10,000] My Choice Is My Life

I noticed that I have mental patterns like tempted to make excuses, put the blame on someone when I’m hurt, take on victim mentality, or simply pack up and leave without looking back. With those protective patterns, I know that I have to grow if I want to live free and empowered.

Life goes on with or without me, it just moves and evolves, the question is will I participate?

What I make out of my life starts from my decision whether it involves an action or inaction. It would be best that I am conscious and take responsibility in every choice that I make. It’s truly liberating the moment I stopped looking outside of myself and check in what do I really love, what is my truth.

It’s a beautiful world and I’d like to participate, to contribute my romance of optimism and curiosity, to create stories and poetries, and to hold space for love and forgiveness to rise. I’m healing every constraining patterns I’ve accumulated and inherited and it’s time for a rebirth to show others the way of lighting up and bloom where ever we are.

[1: 2,064 of 10,000] 36 Questions Leading To Love

Photo by CRYSTALWEED cannabis on Unsplash

Since it’s weekend and to have a break from writing about my self-help business I’ll do something fun and try to answer the 36 Questions that could lead to loving someone, and how about starting with loving myself even more. Here I am I thought I’m going away from self-help but it’s absolutely ingrained in me that I can’t switch it off, plus I encourage everyone to always start loving oneself. (Questions Source: The New York Times by Daniel Jones)

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? Jesus and ask him questions about balancing anger and love. He was on fire speaking up about injustice during the Roman times and yet loving enough to surrender to forgiveness and end his life in torture.

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way? Yes to spread words about recognizing our divinity and power to do what’s truly loving, peaceful, blissful and co-create consciously.

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? Sometimes just to get it right the first time without fuzz but most of the time I don’t like rehearsing anything. I always love free flow speech and that gets me in trouble because I’m capable of speaking my mind without filter but with full raw emotions.

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you? I have good nourishing delicious food, I got inspired, I laughed, I sweat and I showed kindness to someone.

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? Singing to myself right now while I answer these questions. I don’t remember singing to someone, probably singing with someone while driving.

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? I will retain the body so it will allow me to still keep learning and reading new things without using eye glasses and seeing beautiful places for the first time without using a walker.

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? Peaceful death because I know I like where I’m going. It’s always a soul adventure and it’s just one dimension to another.

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. Passionate about life’s adventures, spiritually awake and deliberate to make this world better than we found it.

[1: 2,063 of 10,000] Pissed At Steve Carell Playing Mitch Kessler

Last weekend I watched the first season of The Morning Show and Steve Carell played the character Mitch Kessler and I’m so pissed at him. My mind couldn’t separate the actor from the character, he played it so well my blood is boiling that I hated him. It’s a serious sign that I have my own sexual trauma and it’s coming out of the surface. He wasn’t aware that he caused torment to different women in the workplace.

I can totally relate to the women who preferred to freeze and silent themselves because we were never trained how to react when men has advancement that is outright offensive and wrong. I can remember being harassed and I didn’t know how to react. I’ve experienced strangers inappropriately brushing their hand inappropriately and I’m shocked, run away and cried, in one incident it even happened inside a church during a vacation in Jordan. Previous colleagues suggesting to go into relationship with them despite the common knowledge that they’re married. I know that there are still a lot of decent men out there but it doesn’t change the fact too that there are who are blatantly indecent.

Girls and ladies, as Dr. Shefali wrote on the book A Radical Awakening, “The tragedy isn’t just that these men did what they did to a defenseless young girl, as males do to millions of females around the globe. The real tragedy is that our mothers, aunts, and female teachers don’t tell us how to prepare for it. No one told me that I was prey. By being aware of this, you won’t be caught off guard. You will be vigilant, ever present. You will protect yourself as wisely as you can, knowing that even when you do so you will fall to unwanted advances. As soon as this happens, you are to call on your sisters or one of us. You are to reach out for help. You are to speak up and speak out against any abuse. There is no shame in being a victim of a predator. It is not your fault if this happens.”

No one deserves to be violated of their privacy and sacred space. We have to react to stop it, protect ourselves and speak out on the spot! As scary as it can be, let’s try our very best to not freeze and say we’re not condoning it.

[1: 2,062 of 10,000] Plum Wine and Japan

When all I can use my AWAY cabin luggage is to hang my bags, dreaming traveling from a Tivoli poster and drinking Plum Wine from Japan

I’m drinking a four-year old plum wine from Japan tonight. Japan was the last country I’ve visited in February 2020 before the worldwide pandemic started. One sip of this sweet wine and I’m transported back to memories of good food and a broken heart.

I was told my past life was a merchant who travels a lot and enjoyed a comfortable life. If I don’t play my card right, I’ll be replicating the same thing, which would be a shame for the sake of human experience and not taking advantage of varieties. I know myself that I’m not a fan of repetition but there’s just one thing though I also need to overcome my willpower weakness.

Despite being a true adventurous at heart, I have a strong pull for foundation, rhythm and security. It sounded like being responsible to have a comfortable home, being out of debt, have friends that I can call and yet I have to keep questioning all my beliefs and redefine what I truly desire.

It all boils down to being creative and fine a new way of being. Speak up what’s in my heart and be courageous to go after what’s keeping my driven, not because I’m proving something to someone but because I have my own desire to make a new path that I feel drawn and I want my light to shine upon.

For days I’ve been questioning why do I choose to be alive? What’s the plan now? I’m cozy and comfortable but I don’t feel like I’m contributing enough, and then I pulled back and quiet myself, it was never about doing so much or so little, it was always about experiencing everything in the moment. It’s not missing the awe-ness of the fleeting second that will never come back but a memory.

There’s beauty in cycle. There’s sacredness in being part of life, yes, even if it’s just breathing without expectations or destinations. Enough about being too rigid of always accomplishing only to detest that I’ve never stopped to rest, to appreciate where I am. I’m tired competing even to myself without pausing to see the vision of the big picture.

Yet after some rest, I’m ready to keep moving again. My muse finally arrived.