Yor Ryeter

Posts Tagged ‘2021 Post’

[1: 2,058 of 10,000] Feeling Anew

In Journal on May 18, 2021 at 11:50 AM
Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

I feel like a butterfly that went through different forms, going through transformation. It’s both exciting and excruciating but absolutely rewarding. I still recognize the person in the past but every single moment that I’m living, I could feel my expansion, I’m move willingly to learn the essence of humanity and spirituality and then go forth to live it.

Every new connections that I make now dive in directly to what’s deep, what we’re longing in our heart, and finding the truth – individual truth without judgment nor hesitation to speak it loudly. I’ve lived long enough to finally get it that we’re all one and also standing unique in our own sovereign that’s eternally connected to Source.

Have you awaken yet? Have you start seeing the world more clearly? Do you recognize unconditional love? Do you see yours and other’s divinity? If you’re awake, you would know the feeling of easiness and going back to that ‘peace’ that has no expectations but just being. If you’re not yet awake, it’s okay, be gentle on yourself, and you can start with always looking for something that you appreciate to grow the ball of love within you.

[1: 2,057 of 10,000] New Book of Life

In Journal on April 9, 2021 at 10:52 AM
During my morning walk with my sister today, we saw the grasses with dews and she said the fairies worked their magic as she learned from the cartoon “The Fairly OddParents”. Photo credit: Jonas Weckschmied on Unsplash

I don’t always foresee when will a new blank book of my life needs to start because my human self have the fear of what if I’ll not be able to make it and the Universe let itself in and bring the right amount of shake up to lit my bun on fire. I’m moving!

In my previous books, I’ve let a lot of it unfold, unawake, I dip a bit of my toes but I’ve not fully immerse myself. I don’t regret it, I’m grateful instead that this time around I’m making new choices with my eyes wide awake, my body, soul and spirit are all in. I still don’t get everything right in alignment but I’m at a perfect spot that I’m contented and excited co-creating with the Universe.

I’m writing a new book of my life that involves starting my own business and likely to include moving to a new apartment. Fresh start that makes me smile, imagine new things, and surrender to little deliveries of magic into my way, after all I’m co-creating with full control of my emotions.

As I look back, I honor the steps I’ve made because I made the decisions based on what was true to me and my best at that time. I have full gratitude for the experience, for all that I’ve learned, the growth that I’ve gained only because I was there. My healing continues especially if I will keep on daring to fully live. With this new phase, there are tools that’ll be with be at all times –

  • I’ll never forget to have fun, to follow my joy, or what makes my heart fully smile
  • If I make mistake, I let my tears fall, I’ll be gentle on myself, be the first to forgive myself, and know that my pain is a lesson and opportunity for expansion
  • I’ll feel the sense of adventure, which means my definition of success may not always be the case that comes true, but I’ll keep saying yes to living in the moment, dust off and try again
  • I’ll keep showing up to heal people, to let people in to love me, and create arts that give me purpose to be alive

[1: 2,056 of 10,000] We Need Safe Knit

In Journal on March 14, 2021 at 8:53 PM

I always pretend that I am strong, it’s very rare that I will tell anyone that I’m hurting because I have not met a person who I believe is strong enough to carry the burden that I keep so close in my heart. To trick everyone especially myself, I always say that I am capable to handle it alone because how could I survived this long after all those traumas.

I may have survived my traumas but it came with consequences. For a long time, I have closed my heart and never let anyone to hear my truth, making me carry pains that could have been divided, healed, and transmuted. It took me a lifetime to recognize but it’s never too late to admit that I have to fully forgive my stubbornness, my fears, and my pride. I am strong but I needed help. There’s no one stronger than me to face my battle because they were meant to be mine to conquer but I don’t need to face them alone.

Life on Earth is limited and it’s crazy how I have fallen to close off my world and only stick to what’s familiar. How I run away to not repeat the same mistake of getting hurt yet still bruising my chance to trust because each person and each circumstance comes with unique gift and different outcome depending on my attitude coming in.

What it all boils down? We need to start forging new and lasting friendships. We need connection with others because living alone is pretty lonely. May I finally find new friends that I can show up without editing myself because I am seen and heard anytime. That’s why I like blogging because I pretend that you’re my friend and I never edit myself.

Photo credit: Katarzyna Grabowska on Unsplash

[1: 2,055 of 10,000] Doubt Creeps In

In Journal on March 9, 2021 at 7:31 PM

I stumble without my plan because it feels like living through life without proper check points before reaching my destination. I see the shadow side of plans and that’s stronghold control. I was surprised that there’s something more scarier to that though. When I start building this anxiety listening to my pouring doubts and fears that I’m too rigid of my plan then am not allowing my muse to glide through. For two nights, I fight back sleep, overthinking, going through the plan one more time and see how can I loosen it. I wanted to stay awake and figure out a solution, do I need to come up with a new one?

Oh I was also told that I’m too much in my head and I’m falling into my own trap again. Circling to my obsession and grip of a future that depends on the choices that I make in the present moment. I’ve been advised to see things in a different perspective because I have all the ingredients but I question am I supposed to cook something different, which I have no solid idea how can I make that happen. In my chaotic mind, there’s one thing I’m avoiding though, to sit in stillness to consult my Inner Knowing and ask, “What do I want?”

I process, I prayed, because the direction of my life will only need to come from my authentic voice. My mind is bleeding because it’s not connecting to my intuition, to what I feel, and then the firework sparks and it kept cracking. I got it.

I have to follow my bliss. It’s not about changing the plan, it’s about surrendering my grip and obsession of the journey and the outcome. Right now, I have to accept that I’m good wherever way it lands. A message nudging me that I’ll never make the wrong choice because I have one consistent vision, it’s the paths to get there that have different flavors. The vision wasn’t flawed, my attitude to not allowing play to interrupt that plan that’s raising an issue. I’ve always been all right so why would I be afraid to take a risk this time if I’ll be doing what my Soul came here in this lifetime to do. With that, I’m at peace and my train keeps moving forward.

Photo credit: Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash

[1: 2,054 of 10,000] If The Beatles Becomes Jack Malik

In Article on February 26, 2021 at 9:53 PM

I’ve watched Yesterday and there are two striking moments that I enjoyed about the story.

The premise was Jack Malik seemed to be the only person who knew about The Beatles after a freak worldwide blackout. Spoiler alert coming! A big reveal suddenly showed there are two other people who still remembered The Beatles and they’ve confronted Jack that they knew who is he copying from. He was so scared that they will get him arrested for claiming the genius of The Beatles only for them to say, “Well, we just wanted to say thank you, that’s all. We three seem to be the only ones who remember, and we can’t sing, so we just wanted to say, thanks very much. It’s just lovely to hear the songs. A world without The Beatles is a world that’s infinitely worse. Use it well.”

It was a beautiful surprise, it wasn’t accusative, but simply opening a space for appreciation by people who remember what’s true. The fame, money and influence weren’t the aim, but the embracing the pureness and be in awe of the art. I remembered in college, someone from another university copied my original poem and published it in their literary folio, and when I saw it, I just chuckled, flattered, and now I have a new appreciation that I hope someone got inspired reading the words. The world needs generosity, yes it is still right to give credit to whom it’s due, but there’s more if an art is freely shared because it’s an expression of our Soul.

The movie ends with Jack living a simple life with the love of his life and their two children. He was honest of himself that his genius isn’t about claiming the work of others but being true to who he is. I myself do love the comfortable life, I’m scared of starting over to pursue a creative career, I question if will I strongly and forever connect and co-create with my muse so the work that will be produced through me matters to awaken my fellow beings, and yet I know if I don’t live that in this lifetime then I’m depriving my Spirit to freely express its most authentic Self.

[1: 2,053 of 10,000] Pausing To Savor

In Journal on February 22, 2021 at 9:54 PM

I’ve noticed that lately I no longer rush and surrender to the demand of others to suit their time but instead I honor my own rhythm in the name of my sanity and joy. When I started my journey of loving myself unconditionally, the world cooperates to delight me.

When I seat down for a meal, there’s grace in me savoring the different ingredients that I could taste. I now nourish my body with intention and marvel to the fact that I have delicious food, I have the energy to feed myself and I’m grateful to all the beautiful Spirits that made it happened.

Learning to revere stillness invites me to be grateful to the simplicity of life’s magic. I have some pots with soil in our apartment and my sister suggested that I plant the tomato seeds in there. Everyday we water the soil and soon after tiny plant starts to emerge and they’re so cute. The growing vegetable are giving us a beautiful surprise every waking day.

I’m in my fourth year of writing at least one sentence a day of what I’m grateful for and it feels rewarding to be alive. I know there’s growing pain but there are more happiness if I am deliberate to focus on what makes me feel good. I do make plans in the future, setting up personal chats with people I really like, doing something for the first time for experience sake, and there’s more excitement waiting for the day that it’ll come. It’s very satisfying to pen in activities that makes me smile.

When I hear other people who are not gentle or kind on themselves, I can really sense it now, because I’ve been that. There are times that I still fall apart but I’m better at healing myself, naming what I’m really mad about and then I be quiet coyote to listen to my heart. My heart knows everything about me, what’s good for me, what my next move is, and when to simply relax and feel the moment.

I hurt a nerve in my back today after trying out a kick-boxing exercise from an Instagram video. My body that didn’t visit gym for months was shocked and completely snapped at me. It’s serious because there are certain positions in the middle of the day that I couldn’t breathe easily and yet it didn’t deter me to stay optimistic and I’m confident that my body is intelligent enough to heal itself. Body ailment is a good indicator that pause is exactly what’s needed. It made me reflect too about the things that I could easily do and have taken for granted when I’m incapable of freely moving without struggle. If I couldn’t breathe, I may just call it ‘a life’ and be cremated; but I know it’s not yet time and I’ll keep on insisting to this life that I will live my life, my perfect blend of story and maybe blog about it every once in while.

[1: 2,051 of 10,000] Self-love On Valentine’s

In Journal on February 14, 2021 at 11:12 PM

This year is the most special Valentine’s Day I could ever appreciate in my adult life because I know the value of self-love. I feel so whole and I recognize my self-worth that I don’t look for outside validation and acceptance. My cup is full that I am able to give without expecting.

My healthy self-love will reflect my quality relationships with people who will not deplete my energy but instead inspire me to gain more passion towards feeling alive. My healthy boundaries make me honest of what I am feeling and recline to self-care until I’m rejuvenated to join the world again.

I have nothing to prove to the world. I don’t have to conform to the relentless need of rushing and worrying. I have a responsibility though to check in with myself to what truly makes me joyful, what lightens my heart and what do I need to heal and a burden to let go. Each of us is in our own path of growth and we can’t expect to be at the same pace at all times and that’s absolutely fine. We have to honor what resonates with us.

There was a moment that I never stopped to pause and ask what fills me up. I thought I’m Superman that I can keep on giving the people that I adore with care and surprises only to realize it’s not sustainable. It brought me sadness that when I finally halt and asked what makes me happy and I couldn’t answer so I knew it’s time to focus the priority on me.

I will not wait for another human being to save me and love me, I am taking charge of my life and I’ll sweep me off my feet. I finally start chipping away the blockages that I created to not access unconditional love that has always been available, my truest essence, the human’s superpower.

[1: 2,050 of 10,000] Making Mundane Sacred

In Article on February 8, 2021 at 1:26 PM

I have several household chores that I dread to do. I’ve noticed though that when I’m well rested, they are not dreadful at all. There used to be one though, washing the dishes. I don’t have automatic dishwasher, never experienced having one, and after some acceptance and facing my demons I’ve made it a sacred act.

If you’re wondering how the hell can washing dishes subject me to face my shadows. There was one time that I did the dishes and I was criticized by my mother that I didn’t do a good job. If I took it as a constructive criticism, it would have been over because I did miss a spot not because I was sloppy but I really didn’t pay attention. It was an honest mistake and it hurt my feelings. There were a period that I avoided washing dishes fretting, “What’s the point, am not good at doing it anyway.”

Eventually, our home was reduced to two people, so this time around, I have no excuse not to wash dishes, especially that my housemate (youngest sibling) don’t like to clean cook wares and loves baking (let that sink in, baking means using different measurement cups and spoons and a whole lot of things). This time, the anxiety that I built up is feeling obliged and dragged to keep our sink clean, which means empty from dirty dishes. There are moments that the pressure I give myself makes me bring out my ugly side, procrastination (dreading to finish a task), losing sleep, and feeling disappointed of myself. I know right, the simple task of dishwashing can arouse all these emotions.

Washing dishes may be a mundane or ordinary to anyone else, but it was my teacher. Then I came across the notion of what my hands touch and work on is sacred. It changes everything because it invites me to enjoy the whole process. It calls me to remember my strength and what I’m grateful for. I am a very organized person, and I love how I categorized glasses and utensils like a marching band putting a show. I delight to the bubbles that I create, the satisfaction when I removed a grease successfully (thanks to Fairy dishwashing liquid, not sponsored), and the best part is allowing the flow of water wash away the food that was shared with love, laughters and reverence.

P.S. I don’t stress out if there are days that I don’t clean the dishes right away. It was never a point where it smells and create an atomic disaster, but I know when I’m doing the dishes, it’s a sacred space for moments to marvel that I’ve grown as a human being.

[1: 2,049 of 10,000] Not Face Value, Value

In Article on January 30, 2021 at 9:38 AM

I purchased three new books from a store and my sister was with me. For each title, she selected the most pristine condition that she could get her hands on. As soon as we’re home, I found out that one of the blue covered book stained the flesh covered one. Not only that, I also found one of the pages has natural paper tearing and when I removed the stripped of barcode at the back, left ugly tear. I like nice things and yet I wasn’t vexed about it because the value of the book wasn’t on the covered or the material, it’s in the written words and what it’ll make me imagine.

I remembered one of Casey Neistat’s vlogs where he created his custom shades meaning adding paint and scratching a new Ray-Ban sunglasses to make it suitable to his vibe. He called it, “creative destruction” to make something of his own and that includes scrapping the label.

I cannot treat life as too precious that I don’t go out and live. Let’s do something daring today? Let’s love unconditionally without the labels, without walls and boundaries, and most especially without judgment. Go!

[1: 2,048 of 10,000] Death Is Not The End

In Poem on January 23, 2021 at 8:06 AM

I grew up knowing that I have
a body and a soul

I got partially awakened and witnessed the distinction between
my ego and the Higher Self

I woke up and I finally grasp that I’m an eternal soul
Always expanding and won’t be harmed

I carry the light wherever I go
I can connect with Life Source at any time

I feel empowered to keep creating
No one, not a soul, can stop me