Yor Ryeter

Posts Tagged ‘2021 Post’

[1: 2,064 of 10,000] 36 Questions Leading To Love

In Question on September 4, 2021 at 10:07 AM
Photo by CRYSTALWEED cannabis on Unsplash

Since it’s weekend and to have a break from writing about my self-help business I’ll do something fun and try to answer the 36 Questions that could lead to loving someone, and how about starting with loving myself even more. Here I am I thought I’m going away from self-help but it’s absolutely ingrained in me that I can’t switch it off, plus I encourage everyone to always start loving oneself. (Questions Source: The New York Times by Daniel Jones)

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? Jesus and ask him questions about balancing anger and love. He was on fire speaking up about injustice during the Roman times and yet loving enough to surrender to forgiveness and end his life in torture.

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way? Yes to spread words about recognizing our divinity and power to do what’s truly loving, peaceful, blissful and co-create consciously.

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? Sometimes just to get it right the first time without fuzz but most of the time I don’t like rehearsing anything. I always love free flow speech and that gets me in trouble because I’m capable of speaking my mind without filter but with full raw emotions.

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you? I have good nourishing delicious food, I got inspired, I laughed, I sweat and I showed kindness to someone.

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? Singing to myself right now while I answer these questions. I don’t remember singing to someone, probably singing with someone while driving.

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? I will retain the body so it will allow me to still keep learning and reading new things without using eye glasses and seeing beautiful places for the first time without using a walker.

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? Peaceful death because I know I like where I’m going. It’s always a soul adventure and it’s just one dimension to another.

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. Passionate about life’s adventures, spiritually awake and deliberate to make this world better than we found it.

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[1: 2,063 of 10,000] Pissed At Steve Carell Playing Mitch Kessler

In Article on August 30, 2021 at 9:15 PM

Last weekend I watched the first season of The Morning Show and Steve Carell played the character Mitch Kessler and I’m so pissed at him. My mind couldn’t separate the actor from the character, he played it so well my blood is boiling that I hated him. It’s a serious sign that I have my own sexual trauma and it’s coming out of the surface. He wasn’t aware that he caused torment to different women in the workplace.

I can totally relate to the women who preferred to freeze and silent themselves because we were never trained how to react when men has advancement that is outright offensive and wrong. I can remember being harassed and I didn’t know how to react. I’ve experienced strangers inappropriately brushing their hand inappropriately and I’m shocked, run away and cried, in one incident it even happened inside a church during a vacation in Jordan. Previous colleagues suggesting to go into relationship with them despite the common knowledge that they’re married. I know that there are still a lot of decent men out there but it doesn’t change the fact too that there are who are blatantly indecent.

Girls and ladies, as Dr. Shefali wrote on the book A Radical Awakening, “The tragedy isn’t just that these men did what they did to a defenseless young girl, as males do to millions of females around the globe. The real tragedy is that our mothers, aunts, and female teachers don’t tell us how to prepare for it. No one told me that I was prey. By being aware of this, you won’t be caught off guard. You will be vigilant, ever present. You will protect yourself as wisely as you can, knowing that even when you do so you will fall to unwanted advances. As soon as this happens, you are to call on your sisters or one of us. You are to reach out for help. You are to speak up and speak out against any abuse. There is no shame in being a victim of a predator. It is not your fault if this happens.”

No one deserves to be violated of their privacy and sacred space. We have to react to stop it, protect ourselves and speak out on the spot! As scary as it can be, let’s try our very best to not freeze and say we’re not condoning it.

[1: 2,062 of 10,000] Plum Wine and Japan

In Journal on August 19, 2021 at 9:59 PM
When all I can use my AWAY cabin luggage is to hang my bags, dreaming traveling from a Tivoli poster and drinking Plum Wine from Japan

I’m drinking a four-year old plum wine from Japan tonight. Japan was the last country I’ve visited in February 2020 before the worldwide pandemic started. One sip of this sweet wine and I’m transported back to memories of good food and a broken heart.

I was told my past life was a merchant who travels a lot and enjoyed a comfortable life. If I don’t play my card right, I’ll be replicating the same thing, which would be a shame for the sake of human experience and not taking advantage of varieties. I know myself that I’m not a fan of repetition but there’s just one thing though I also need to overcome my willpower weakness.

Despite being a true adventurous at heart, I have a strong pull for foundation, rhythm and security. It sounded like being responsible to have a comfortable home, being out of debt, have friends that I can call and yet I have to keep questioning all my beliefs and redefine what I truly desire.

It all boils down to being creative and fine a new way of being. Speak up what’s in my heart and be courageous to go after what’s keeping my driven, not because I’m proving something to someone but because I have my own desire to make a new path that I feel drawn and I want my light to shine upon.

For days I’ve been questioning why do I choose to be alive? What’s the plan now? I’m cozy and comfortable but I don’t feel like I’m contributing enough, and then I pulled back and quiet myself, it was never about doing so much or so little, it was always about experiencing everything in the moment. It’s not missing the awe-ness of the fleeting second that will never come back but a memory.

There’s beauty in cycle. There’s sacredness in being part of life, yes, even if it’s just breathing without expectations or destinations. Enough about being too rigid of always accomplishing only to detest that I’ve never stopped to rest, to appreciate where I am. I’m tired competing even to myself without pausing to see the vision of the big picture.

Yet after some rest, I’m ready to keep moving again. My muse finally arrived.

[1: 2,061 of 10,000] Earth And Eather Collide

In Article on August 9, 2021 at 7:48 PM
Photo Gratitude: Simone Pellegrini, Unsplash.com

Awakening to a bigger consciousness than my current miniature lifetime is making me fly so high. I lost my fears of conforming to what is culturally accepted, including beliefs I’ve been raised to; instead, I’m questioning everything. I’ve learned to pause and push, the intensity of polar opposites only to return to fireworks that trickle down to peace and inspired creation. I’m trying to ground my thoughts, or is this what it’s all about? I’ve changed.

It’s time to answer the call for new ways of being. I can’t go back to living like a zombie, ignoring a tug inside me to love everyone… EVERYONE. My mind trained in individuality is holding on to establish its boundary, yet my Soul is breaking my heart open and asking me to see everyone, REALLY SEE EVERYONE. I imagine a mirror out whenever I interact with anyone and remember that whatever I do to someone, I do to me; if we always remember this, we’ll be a kinder and compassionate world.

[1: 2,060 of 10,000] Brutal Honesty

In Article on August 6, 2021 at 1:56 PM
Photo credit: Sharon McCutcheon

I’m reaching the old age of brutal honesty. The desire of not going in for a small talk but drive right in with what our soul is longing to discuss, real experience that truly matters to us, no lies, no fake-ness. I do worry a little that when I show up brash that I’ll be seen as a lunatic, impolite, out of this world.

I am conscious that whenever I enter into a conversation that I remain honest, I will never say I want this if I don’t or that’s gorgeous if it’s not, but I’m torn on the part to say it’s not my taste because I don’t like to hurt someone’s feelings. I was in that situation several times and I’ve felt people got bruised and I do kind of question the lines, “If you have nothing nice to say, be silent” and then I would rather go to the lane of “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”. I’m finding the balance of saying what’s my feelings but in a compassionate delivery because after all we are in our own journey. What I see useless and reckless is a journey that someone needs to discover of their own and it’s not like I got life figured out.

Where is this all coming from? I got triggered that I’m foreseen as weak when I was practicing my sage-ness, and I need to look at myself and my dichotomy to the existence of others who I am choosing to be part of my life. It was such a clear revelation that I’m freeing myself from any form of attachment because I would always choose myself, what makes me whole and the world will align to my vibration. It’s really fascinating to witness it play.

One thing I’m sure of though, I’m quite peaceful to where I am. I don’t have the drama that most of my age worry about. I’m grateful for that and I also have the inner knowing that it’s because I am meant to do more than I can imagine, to make new adventure to happen, new way of thinking and operating in this rebirthing world.

[1: 2,059 of 10,000] Is My White Hair A Sign?

In Journal on July 23, 2021 at 6:12 PM
Photo by Evie S. on Unsplash

I have a little rectangular mirror on my desk, while the sun beams bright, I could clearly examine my face and hair. I turned forty-one this year and I’ve reached the age when biologically there’s remarkable appearance of white hair. I rely on coloring it from time to time not because I want to hide my age but because it didn’t look good having white roots only in some areas.

Seeing my white hairs, I do admit that I’m turning older each year. I could remember my childhood, my teens, my career life in a flash and all the people who I saw as me at this time when I was younger. I’ve called them auntie and now I’m the auntie. Being older, I certainly gained more wisdom and I take less bullshit from people.

Something in my psyche changed when I finally realized that I’m not going to have my young stamina and features and at some point I have to ask am I running out of time of living? Do I still have dreams that I needed to fulfill before it’s too late?

Call it midlife epiphany, but for once in my life, I am taking a chance on myself. I got fired early this year that’s the best thing that can happen to me, either that or I was half-asked to moved into a new country if I want to keep working in a corporate environment. I knew my soul is dying if I don’t change where I’m headed. The truth, I wanted to quit before I got fired, I wanted to get fired only to have a higher payout and start all over. This time I’m counting on my self on to a new path I’ve never imagined. The unknown.

This year, I’ve changed so much, I moved to a better apartment, I’m building my own business that involved a whole lot of spirituality, and I’m growing more white hairs. Is my white hair a sign of being courageous to start creating something that is true to my voice before I continue living in desperation and waking up uninspired?

I don’t know what is the end goal but I know I will keep on living in the moment where there’s always peace and when I’m breathing in and out I can find in my heart that all is well. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know I will have a say about it, how I react and what I create in the moment.

[1: 2,058 of 10,000] Feeling Anew

In Journal on May 18, 2021 at 11:50 AM
Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

I feel like a butterfly that went through different forms, going through transformation. It’s both exciting and excruciating but absolutely rewarding. I still recognize the person in the past but every single moment that I’m living, I could feel my expansion, I’m move willingly to learn the essence of humanity and spirituality and then go forth to live it.

Every new connections that I make now dive in directly to what’s deep, what we’re longing in our heart, and finding the truth – individual truth without judgment nor hesitation to speak it loudly. I’ve lived long enough to finally get it that we’re all one and also standing unique in our own sovereign that’s eternally connected to Source.

Have you awaken yet? Have you start seeing the world more clearly? Do you recognize unconditional love? Do you see yours and other’s divinity? If you’re awake, you would know the feeling of easiness and going back to that ‘peace’ that has no expectations but just being. If you’re not yet awake, it’s okay, be gentle on yourself, and you can start with always looking for something that you appreciate to grow the ball of love within you.

[1: 2,057 of 10,000] New Book of Life

In Journal on April 9, 2021 at 10:52 AM
During my morning walk with my sister today, we saw the grasses with dews and she said the fairies worked their magic as she learned from the cartoon “The Fairly OddParents”. Photo credit: Jonas Weckschmied on Unsplash

I don’t always foresee when will a new blank book of my life needs to start because my human self have the fear of what if I’ll not be able to make it and the Universe let itself in and bring the right amount of shake up to lit my bun on fire. I’m moving!

In my previous books, I’ve let a lot of it unfold, unawake, I dip a bit of my toes but I’ve not fully immerse myself. I don’t regret it, I’m grateful instead that this time around I’m making new choices with my eyes wide awake, my body, soul and spirit are all in. I still don’t get everything right in alignment but I’m at a perfect spot that I’m contented and excited co-creating with the Universe.

I’m writing a new book of my life that involves starting my own business and likely to include moving to a new apartment. Fresh start that makes me smile, imagine new things, and surrender to little deliveries of magic into my way, after all I’m co-creating with full control of my emotions.

As I look back, I honor the steps I’ve made because I made the decisions based on what was true to me and my best at that time. I have full gratitude for the experience, for all that I’ve learned, the growth that I’ve gained only because I was there. My healing continues especially if I will keep on daring to fully live. With this new phase, there are tools that’ll be with be at all times –

  • I’ll never forget to have fun, to follow my joy, or what makes my heart fully smile
  • If I make mistake, I let my tears fall, I’ll be gentle on myself, be the first to forgive myself, and know that my pain is a lesson and opportunity for expansion
  • I’ll feel the sense of adventure, which means my definition of success may not always be the case that comes true, but I’ll keep saying yes to living in the moment, dust off and try again
  • I’ll keep showing up to heal people, to let people in to love me, and create arts that give me purpose to be alive

[1: 2,056 of 10,000] We Need Safe Knit

In Journal on March 14, 2021 at 8:53 PM

I always pretend that I am strong, it’s very rare that I will tell anyone that I’m hurting because I have not met a person who I believe is strong enough to carry the burden that I keep so close in my heart. To trick everyone especially myself, I always say that I am capable to handle it alone because how could I survived this long after all those traumas.

I may have survived my traumas but it came with consequences. For a long time, I have closed my heart and never let anyone to hear my truth, making me carry pains that could have been divided, healed, and transmuted. It took me a lifetime to recognize but it’s never too late to admit that I have to fully forgive my stubbornness, my fears, and my pride. I am strong but I needed help. There’s no one stronger than me to face my battle because they were meant to be mine to conquer but I don’t need to face them alone.

Life on Earth is limited and it’s crazy how I have fallen to close off my world and only stick to what’s familiar. How I run away to not repeat the same mistake of getting hurt yet still bruising my chance to trust because each person and each circumstance comes with unique gift and different outcome depending on my attitude coming in.

What it all boils down? We need to start forging new and lasting friendships. We need connection with others because living alone is pretty lonely. May I finally find new friends that I can show up without editing myself because I am seen and heard anytime. That’s why I like blogging because I pretend that you’re my friend and I never edit myself.

Photo credit: Katarzyna Grabowska on Unsplash

[1: 2,055 of 10,000] Doubt Creeps In

In Journal on March 9, 2021 at 7:31 PM

I stumble without my plan because it feels like living through life without proper check points before reaching my destination. I see the shadow side of plans and that’s stronghold control. I was surprised that there’s something more scarier to that though. When I start building this anxiety listening to my pouring doubts and fears that I’m too rigid of my plan then am not allowing my muse to glide through. For two nights, I fight back sleep, overthinking, going through the plan one more time and see how can I loosen it. I wanted to stay awake and figure out a solution, do I need to come up with a new one?

Oh I was also told that I’m too much in my head and I’m falling into my own trap again. Circling to my obsession and grip of a future that depends on the choices that I make in the present moment. I’ve been advised to see things in a different perspective because I have all the ingredients but I question am I supposed to cook something different, which I have no solid idea how can I make that happen. In my chaotic mind, there’s one thing I’m avoiding though, to sit in stillness to consult my Inner Knowing and ask, “What do I want?”

I process, I prayed, because the direction of my life will only need to come from my authentic voice. My mind is bleeding because it’s not connecting to my intuition, to what I feel, and then the firework sparks and it kept cracking. I got it.

I have to follow my bliss. It’s not about changing the plan, it’s about surrendering my grip and obsession of the journey and the outcome. Right now, I have to accept that I’m good wherever way it lands. A message nudging me that I’ll never make the wrong choice because I have one consistent vision, it’s the paths to get there that have different flavors. The vision wasn’t flawed, my attitude to not allowing play to interrupt that plan that’s raising an issue. I’ve always been all right so why would I be afraid to take a risk this time if I’ll be doing what my Soul came here in this lifetime to do. With that, I’m at peace and my train keeps moving forward.

Photo credit: Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash