[1: 1,883 of 10,000] To Change A Habit Is Possible

To change a habit is possible.

I have always preferred white sugar for my tea, because it is sweet and I don’t want to be part of the crowd who is too conscious about what they eat… it felt pretentious and involved a lot of work. I thought few white sugar couldn’t possibly turn me into a giant whale.  After few sessions at the gym with a watchful trainer, I decided that I can change and choose to be healthy.

At first, I will have to bear to eat foods that are healthy even if they don’t taste delectable to my palate, like using sweetener instead of a regular sugar. Eventually, I couldn’t really tell if it took more than a week and I could distinctly taste that the white sugar is “too sweet” and I couldn’t eat chocolates or cookies anymore knowing it is excessive with unhealthy sugar.

Habit like taste preference can be changed in my story, either for my betterment or to my detriment. The choice has always been mine, and it is only when I become open to try a new way that I will find out and ready to give my sincere effort. I can survive now without white sugar not because I am forced but I just accept that I could.

Photo source: Pinterest Site

[1: 1,855 of 10,000] Vegetables

I am not overly dramatic but miracles happened every time visible on circumstance that couldn’t be explained. It might not even be obvious in the beginning but how could the mere human understanding could known.

Vegetables are not naturally the type of food products that I will immediately chose but sudden eruption of food allergies forced me to. I have shopped for my current favorite root products and it gave me peace of mind and joy when I was looking at it tonight and cooked myself a simple dish. Simple but made me thankful or my body was shouting with so much joy for feeding it with the right stuffs.

Being present and observant get me grateful, now that’s something.

 

[1: 1,813 of 10,000] Fats Grow

Don’t be too confident, fat grows as age adds up.

I never thought I’ll be out of breath when I walk some distance.

I hate it when my underwear rolls down due to my big tummy.

I couldn’t resist sweet coffee, chocolates, and caramel.

I used to say this is the fattest I’ve ever been, and it is bigger than the last time.

It’s no joke, I have to take care this body where my soul resides.

With better health, I’ll have good energy.

I have to exercise discipline to eat right, work out, and sleep.

[1: 1,754 of 10,000] Sick Every Weekend

I feel like I am working way too hard (super emphasis on the word ‘feel’ because my colleagues worked way too much than me) and I do not know how to say no at work that every weekend I am kind of sick. The weekend when I am supposed to be energetic, super relax, and maybe make some plans other than work. The monthly period didn’t help, I am feeling really sluggish!

There were two people at the office who are truly admirable, they work and write very smart especially the SVP/CBDO and I don’t always understand what are they saying, it sounds very corporate and I thought I was bright but I am lost by the 2nd paragraph. I don’t know when will I ever keep up, not that I want to stay long in this particular company (I am already planning my exit), but it would be good to learn that rope so I can use it later on. Wow, I am thinking I would be living for a hundred years more. With my immune system acting all crazy, I am headed to die young like my parents.

I should start looking for a career in the entertainment business, I love drama, comedy, mystery, and I would fit right in. I couldn’t handle serious works especially that the people in the bottom are always walking on a very thin ice. It’s a little scary and I don’t want to be sucked into that world. Or maybe I change it? Yay, a little way too crazy and lots of work!

Also, I had a self-inflicted car accident this week and when I gave my car to the workshop, it ran into another accident, its like my car is resigning of my ownership, and I am getting way too attached and I am scared. I am losing him. Its like breaking up with someone I love who were always there to protect me and I couldn’t return the same care because I am careless, I am a very bad car owner and my Mini Cooper is suffering. I am planning to shop for a new wheel, maybe a Jeep this time.

[1: 1,680 of 10,000] Change Is Inevitable

Change is inevitable but my attitude towards every circumstance will determine whether my changes will help me grow better, learn, or discover something worthwhile not just for me but to share with everyone.

I think I may have discovered that I am susceptible to a new food allergy? I gave blood for testing yesterday and I’ll find out the real reason soon. It is scary, sad, and inconvenient to find out that I may never be one of those people to confidently answer with “no allergies” whenever I dine outside. I may however see this as an opportunity to share new information.

My lifestyle is erratic! I don’t have a good sleeping pattern (no consistent bed time so my biological clock is screwed or confused), I don’t eat healthy food (meaning I still put processed food in the mix), I am stressed at work (believing I can do it alone), I overthink everything, I feel guilty of old actions; therefore I simply have to recalibrate my thinking, actions, and I’ll be eventually fine.

I am taking my BLESSINGS for granted, I forgot I am a human being with different components and different needs that need to be attended to. The body is so complex that when a part is starting to go busted then it’s a big wake up call. I am still closely watching that a certain ingredient in a ready-made pesto was the culprit for my triggered allergy; but which one, I guess my mind! My face is all itchy, swollen, and ugly but I still manage to smile to counteract the negative reactions.

I have been taking various medicines because different illnesses are nagging my body. I began with coughing and then now allergy with only symptons visible all over my face! Yay, this calls for a reboot. Before all the physical illnesses emerge, I was developing an allergy for life (emotional) as I was beginning to lose my worth that I can contribute to the world (I am still unhappy despite having an extremely challenging works before me), I couldn’t answer my purpose or reason to keep living, and most of all I don’t feel needed by anyone since I’m learning about independence or non-attachment. There is something in here that I need to figure out but I know in my heart and soul that I couldn’t just give up, I thought of it would be better to die, but I am not willing to take my own life and yet if I keep my pace on this track then there is no other way but to slowly kill myself.

The instant remedy that I am doing is feeding my soul with positive words. I am reading books that speak directly to my soul, comfort my heart, and letting me believe about magic. I am also forgiving myself and others who have wrong me; and still hope that nothing is personal. Finally, I hope to enroll to gym class this month to keep me in healthy physical shape.

Note to self: Don’t run away, have courage, and be kind not just to others but most especially to myself.

[1: 1,621 of 10,000] I Hit The Gym

I hit the gym with the goal of checking the place if it’s something I’d be comfortable working out with the right personal trainer. The membership price is reasonable and it’s something I look foward to start by November.

My first goal is not to lose weight, hitting the gym will automatically makes me lose weight (I hope as the bonus), but my true aim is to gain stamina so I don’t ever feel sluggish and I will have all the energy to do what I need to do both personally and professionally. It would also be a great happy surprise that I can wear office dresses that won’t show my bulging tummy.

For the dry run, I was asked to go infront of the mirror, follow the instruction of the personal trainer, and I couldn’t possibly stare at my round-shaped body laughing back at me (I distorted my mind with what a perfect woman’s body should be, I’m being too cruel on myself and must stop). It was a little annoying that I started making petty complains too. It was a true englightening experience and it’s one of those moments that I know I was stepping out from my comfort zone. Next time I hit the gym, I will just enjoy the sweating, manage my breathing to not black out, and pause to rest (I’m no iron man).

I was quite proud of myself wearing a razor back and not hiding my tummy from everyone in the gym. My sissy who was with me had a burning eye balls for seeing my fat armpit raised in the air and all the wrong viceral and subcutaneous fats saying hello in a loud and proud manner. I knew that if there’s anything that I should never do in the gym is to hide my truth that I’m overweight at 64 kilos, being 159 cm, and at 35. I know it’s wrong combination of numbers but I am starting and I feel good. In case you’re wondering, yes that’s my fat ass in the photo and who ever invented that little wheel, I want to say to you congratulations for you made me really suffer for awhile.

[1: 1,605 of 10,000] I’m Freaking Happy

I’m freaking happy that I couldn’t stop smiling from within. It looks silly but the photo above describes the silly cheeky smile that I couldn’t help myself painting all over my face.

I just have to have better energy by being fit and taking care my body and it will help me better with the tasks am supposed to complete.

It is just a little alarming that my mind is making wrong tracks but I know better to stop it before it roots. I wanted to fall in love with the right gentleman and that we’re right for one another. If a man in my life isn’t the right path, then let me be the best at what I do.

Yay! I am pretty happy and I hope you are too.

[1: 1,567 of 10,000] Moved

So you’re moved by an idea

By an individual

Or an organization

It even made you tear up

Oh wait, sob even

Now what?

Will you act on it?

Will you share the story?

How will you help?

Can you persuade anyone to support it?

Yeah, being moved is something

It makes you feel human

To feel uncomfortable

Cringe

But seriously though

Now what?

You got to try

You got to do something

Complement the feeling

Make it sparks in your tribe

Go on

Dig deeper

Be creative

Help.

Charity Water organization acts to resolve the 1Billion crisis worldwide of people with no access to clean water. Let us help. Visit http://www.charitywater.org to donate and note that all donations are 100% go to the water project.

Watch this video in the site for brief info: https://www.charitywater.org/whywater

[1: 1,518 of 10,000] Sick Baby

After a very important meeting yesterday, sissy and I headed to the mall to watch Jurassic Park 2. Then I don’t feel so good anymore. I was tired, vomitting, and feeling cold. I couldn’t stand the smell of any food, I know I got to eat, but only Pepsi goes in.

I tried to get rest today but I still feel sluggish although better than last night. I just have my monthly period today too so that might explain a lot, having hormonal imbalance never go well in my favour. I should stop blogging and get another good night sleep.

I hope I feel stronger tomorrow. 🙂

[1: 1,514 of 10,000] Feed Your Body & Let It Sleep

I have been hustling again for my next big project and I am killing it, while killing myself on the side. My sleeping patterns lately are stealing essential naps and not a deep sleep only to heed to the call of my muse and complete my list of To Dos.

Yesterday, I was depending on caffeine to stay awake, functional, and able to drive. I could sense the uneasiness physically, irritability, and fatigue. By the time I reached home, I am panicking and took awhile before I surrender to sleep, on my bed, after a good warm bath, and it was already past midnight.

Sleep is very important to reenergize the body and my favourite part of getting a good sleep is being alert. I like it when my focus is sharp and I can get tasks done faster because it is easier. I don’t believe when some people say that sleep is overrated because it will never be. It looks like we’re in a state of inaction but not every essential things in life have to be seen with our naked eye, our body need to rest so when we wake up, we could take on the world.

Before I indulge in the habit of napping instead of deep sleep, I better get things in order to remain healthy and happy. Feed your body and let it sleep when it’s dark.