Yor Ryeter

[1: 1,952 of 10,000] What’s My Story To Tell?

In Journal on September 22, 2018 at 10:39 AM

I have moved through life for 38 years, and I could recognize the phases:

Young me was playful. It was the 80s, and I adore running outside, playing ball with the neighborhood, riding a bike and even hit by a bike by my childhood crush (entirely my fault, I thought I was invisible), and going out to a resort for a summer swim.

Teenage me was grumpy. Some even assumed am a tomboy with my baseball cap backward and not into prim and proper. I am not a lesbian, I totally shut down when a lesbian showed interest in me, I ran away. I also ran away when men court me, and I don’t like them, I freak out and stop all connection. My mother taught me that when I don’t like someone, keep wide proximity, and so I did. This was the best year though that I wanted to be alone and just write my own version of novels where my schoolmates lined up to read. I love my imagination at this time.

The collegiate me was all about getting into a good university and scoring high grades to be in the dean’s list. I love the library, I remembered the first time I tried to use the Internet from a PC, and I didn’t have a clue navigating the Yahoo! site. I still have my Yahoo! email. I got what I’ve dreamed of, being part of the literary group and was the Editor-In-Chief of the college yearbook and surprised the school President that I can produce it, she lost fate that it’ll be out that she didn’t even bother to write us a message, one dean gave us a recycled message from last year. It was a tragic history of yearbooks that are not produced all because the students didn’t meet up the expectation and took the privilege of being given the free range, I loved it and was up to accomplish a project. It was so humble though that when we were distributing, the school president went there to ask for a copy, I was planning to give her one, but I got to serve my customer first, the students who paid.

I grew up with entrepreneur parents but I saw them struggled in their businesses that I said I’ll be an employee so I won’t be thinking about the whole company, so I did apply for a job and landed one two months after graduating from college. It was fascinating to go to work, I was nervous, shy, and found out if I was absent from work I’ll have a salary deduction, the adult consequence of not showing up huh! I was lucky to join an IT company that launched some firsts in the Philippines, I was surrounded by smart young people like me. My dearest adult friends today I met at my first work company.

My father died in 2002 of a heart attack at 49 years old. My mother passed away due to cancer in 2012 at 58 years old. These deaths of my parents make me long for parents that I will never have. My signature demonstrates that I am hung up with the past, so I have to create a new story. My parents were not on good terms during the latter part of their lives, from being the Romeo & Juliet that defy all odds to they’re are tired of one another.

Fast forward to today, 17 years as an employee and one time having attempted at managing a business with my uncle financing it that failed, I am in an entirely new headspace. I like pretty things and ladylike, no more baseball cap but sun hats. I am in constant search for meaning to make my life worthy and not just existing. I have published an eBook on Amazon, and I am challenging myself to release some more. I’m still not married, but I’m entertaining the idea including becoming a mother. I know that being a parent is not easy, but I also believe that I was never 100% ready of anything, I needed people and I needed a load of help from God.

If there’s one thing I will never indulge now, I will not fall for self-pity, and I will be mindful of recognizing silly things that will distract me. I have to write down my dreams, my goals, my plans, and take the necessary step to make it happen; after giving all my best and knowing my intentions are in check, that I would be willing to surrender the result to God. Most of all, I am in my journey to see everyone as equal, I have built my own biases over the years, and I am on the work of shattering them. All in all, I am grateful with my current life, I am very contented and happy; contented not in the sense that I am not going to improve anymore but the mere fact that I can appreciate what is right now.

You’ve reached all the way here, thanks for reading my short story, so how about you, what is your story to tell?

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